2013- A Year to Remember

As we reach the end of another year, I cant help but reflect on all of the many things Lilly has accomplished and experienced this year. I'm going to let her tell you all about it! 

I turned 9 months old last January. I learned how to pull up and one morning my mommy found me standing up in my crib! I made her scream with excitement. My favorite mode of transportation was to scoot around on my bottom... Crawling is for the birds ya know. I started saying words like baby, ball, dada, momma, and buck buck. My parents are always telling me how smart I am. I turned 1 in April and we had a big party just for me!! Only I wasn't feeling that well because I had my first ear infection. I threw my cupcake on the floor. Mom says that will make a great story to share when I get older. A few weeks later I took my first steps. My mom cried! Sheesh mom. It didn't take me long to start walking all over the place. We took a trip to the lake and we found out that I was going to have a new baby cousin! School got out and I got to stay home with my mom all summer! We built forts and went to the park. I got my first pair of crocks. We took some trips. My favorite trip was the beach. I got to spend a whole week with my cousins! And I went on my first boat ride. Mom said to go slow, I think she was nervous. I went to the Marbles Museum and the Life and Science Museum in Raleigh. I went to the zoo and saw some animals. My favorite animal was the elephant. I also went to Charlottesville, VA and got to swim in KK's big pool and I went all the way to Charleston, SC and met my Spivey cousins and my new baby cousin Gus. He gives sweet kisses. When we got back my mom was sad because we lost a very special family member. She said she can't wait to tell me all about my Uncle Mike when I get older. I spent summer nights on my front porch. School started back in August and I made so many new friends. I love my new teacher. I got 4 baby chicks! I named one Pickle. I went to a pumpkin patch with my friend Emma and I went trick-or-treating with her! I was a princess. I also painted my pumpkin. My mommy said I was the next Picasso, whoever that is. My mommy painted my toenails for the first time! Sparkly is my favorite color. I started saying more and more words and I love singing songs. Old McDonald, Twinkle Twinkle, ABC, and The Wheels on the Bus are my favorite. I went to an ECU tailgate and my Aunt Jen Jen had a wedding shower! She got married and I got to be a flower girl and wear a pretty dress! Oh yeah, and wait till you hear this!! I went to DISNEY WORLD! I saw Mickey, Minnie, all of the princesses, fireworks, parades, another elephant, you name it! Mom said all I have to do if I want to go back is ask D-daddy... I'll have to remember that. I have 12 teeth now and my hair is starting to grow and I've grown two shoe sizes. I celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family and everybody played with me. I even saw Disney on Ice... twice!! My daddy ran a 5k and I was there to cheer him on. He also graduated with his Masters Degree in GIS! He said I could get my doctorate if I wanted to. I need to make it through kindergarten first. I can do a front roll now and mommy says I'm almost ready for my first pair of tap shoes! I have grown so much this year! My mommy says I'm a toddler now. I'm still an extremely picky eater but that's just me. And I love me. And my parents realllly love me. They tell me all the time! And I can say it back now! I wonder what 2014 will be like? Only time will tell! 

That Moment

We are an hour and a half into our 9 hour drive to DISNEY WORLD! So far Lilly has slept. We are riding with my nieces who are eagerly waiting for her to wake up. I figured this would be a great time to write an extremely cheesy blog about seeing Lilly for the first time. 

I have a good friend and cousin that are both pregnant right now with their first little ones. Audrey Jo is going to have her little girl any second now (although I told her she CANNOT have her while we are in Disney) and Julie's little girl is due in February.  I am so excited for them. I am so excited for them. I am SO EXCITED FOR THEM! They are about to experience "that moment". It is so hard to describe that moment in words. You hear everybody say "it was the best moment of my life" and this is very true... It will be the best moment of your life, but what makes it the best moment? It's seeing her face for the first time, hearing her cry out, that skin-to-skin contact when they lay her on your chest, and just that overall feeling of "she's finally here"! Time will stand still, tears will flow, and you will not be able to take your eyes off of her. You will kiss her more times in that first hour than you can count. You will share her with your family. Your heart will melt when your husband holds her. You will feel so much peace and joy and you will thank God over and over for this wonderful gift. The gift of motherhood. There's nothing like it! 

And you will think back at that moment a lot over those first few years and your heart will swell up all over again. Make sure a nurse takes plenty of pictures to capture those first moments you will share with your daughter. Look at them often as a reminder of how blessed you are (especially when they are teething or when they learn the word no...). So here's to my pregnant friends! You will soon be able to see your feet again, bend over, walk and not waddle, and experience the most incredible moment of your life. I'm so excited for you! 

Mommy Daycare

Somebody's 19 months old today! We are home today due to an ear infection that snuck up on us this weekend, just in time for daddy's arrival back home! He was gone all last week to a training in New York. Boy was I glad to see him! This is how our week went without our main squeeze.   

Monday- Monday was a teacher work day and Mike took Lilly to daycare before he left for the airport. After work Lilly and I hung out at the park with Miss Angela and Miss Margaret (my teacher friends). When we got home I made the biggest pot of spaghetti in the world to last me the whole week. Mike is the cook in our family so by this time I was really missing him! Then I gave us both a shower and settled down for the night in the bed with Lilly Bug. Overall, Monday was a success! 

Tuesday- I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to make sure Lilly got to daycare at 7 so I wouldn't be late for work. Lilly slept in though so that made it easier for me. I had to wake her up and get her ready in 10 minutes before we headed out the door. We were late... She screamed bloody murder when I dropped her off. I had speghatti for lunch. I picked Lilly up after work and she was not ready to leave daycare... Everytime I went to pick her up she would run away laughing. So we stayed and played outside for about 30 more minutes. When we got home I ate spaghetti for dinner and Lilly had her usual dinner of yogurt, cheese, and pickles (I kid you not) but she did at least taste some spaghetti. Then we got our shower and settled down for the night. Oh crap! The chickens!!! We got back out of bed and gave the chickens water and food. Sorry chickens. 

Wednesday- Woke up even earlier than the crack of dawn and Lilly slept in again. She still cried when I dropped her off but I wasn't late this time! I ate spaghetti for lunch. Wednesday night was McTeacher night for our school. I had signed up to be there from 5-6 so I drove into town to get Lilly and then went right to the McDonalds near my school. Since I couldn't really help in the back Lilly and I were the greeters. Lilly had a good time running around and I got to show her off to a few of my students. When we got home I ate... you guessed it...spaghetti. By this point I (and my tummy) missed my husband terribly. 

Thursday- Thursday was Halloween! Lilly got to wear her costume to daycare and I had to bring in goldfish for their class party.. And I remembered!!! She didn't cry and I wasn't late for work! I had spaghetti for lunch. I'm pretty sure my students were starting to call me spaghetti lady behind my back. "Spaghetti AGAIN Mrs. Stec??". After work I picked Lilly up and we met up with her friend Emma and Sophia at Chick-fil-a for dinner!! My taste buds were singing! Then we went out trick-or-treating. We were not sure how this would play out but it turns out that our children love getting candy from complete strangers! I was going to put the candy that she collected in my treat box at school but I clearly have no self control around candy. This was one of the best nights I have ever had. My child amazes me every single day. 

Friday- Yay we made it!!! Lilly was walking into daycare no problem by Friday. I picked her up and we went home to play. I ate a hot pocket for dinner and we watched Elmo. Mikes flight got delayed and he didn't leave NY until 8:00 pm. Lilly and I went to bed only to have her wake up a few hours later with a fever. This was the start of her ear infection. Mike got home at midnight and the rest of the weekend was spent taking care of Lilly Bug. Oh yeah... And eating the most delicious chicken wings my husband has ever made! We missed you honey!! 

The Simple Things In Life

Thank God for simple days. Sometimes we get so caught up in the exciting things going on in our lives that we forget how special a regular ordinary day can be. We have been on the go so much these last two months because there have been many wonderful things to celebrate (birthdays, cookouts, and a very special wedding) but this weekend was spent cleaning up the house and wearing pj's. 

Today, Mike started on a new batch of home brew. Our house smells like grains. The dog got a bath, I drank a wonderful cup of coffee and Lilly played on her slide and pulled out every shoe from our closet. We ate leftover pizza for lunch, and Lilly is going on a 3 hour nap (this however is not normal!). I think a trip to the park is in our future, followed by a trip to the grocery store. 

So thank you God for days like today. Days that are care free and easy. Days that remind me how blessed I am. It really is the simple things in life that make you the happiest. 

Love and Marriage

It was brought to my attention today that the next time a person asks how old Lilly is, I can say "she's one and a half". Not 18 months, not one, but one and a HALF. As in... Half way to two! Eekk!! Goodness gracious that is just craziness. Complete craziness. These last 18 months have been filled with ups and downs and twists and turns. I have learned so much more than I ever knew I could and have loved so much more than I ever knew I could. It hasn't always been easy, but boy has it been worth it! This blog is about marriage and a baby, and what that baby does to a marriage. 

Mike and I started dating in high school.  We got married after seven years of dating and I thought I knew everything there was to know about him, and I'm sure he thought the same. But somehow I learned more about him everyday and he learned more about me. Two years after we got married we found out we were pregnant. And boy was that a whole new learning experience. And then we had Lilly, and that has been the biggest learning experience of all.

 The day Lilly was born was the absolute most amazing day of our lives. Nothing is going to top that day. I nursed her on demand every 2 hours (or less) and Mike changed every single poopy tar diaper. We were a team and we were in this together. That first week was perfect. Mike was home the first week and continued his diaper duty and my mom was with us too so we could get a nap here and there and some home cooked meals. I had help all around me. My mom cleaned my entire house (since Lilly surprised us two weeks early our house wasn't exactly ready). Life was so good. It was like a magic fairy had sprinkled happy dust all over my freaking house. 

They say that there is a HUGE hormonal drop around day 7 postpartum. They were right. Mike went back to work, my mom went back home, and I realized that I had a real actual baby that was mine to feed and change and keep alive. And the closest family members I had were all 2 hours away. I cried and cried and cried some more. I was filled with anxiety around 6:00 every night because I knew it was going to be another long sleepless night of nursing and diaper changing. I didn't ask for help because I also had anxiety about Mike getting enough sleep to be able to function at work. I didn't have to get out of my pj's the next day, or brush my hair, or even brush my teeth! But Mike did and I wanted to make sure he was ok. He would kiss me goodbye in the morning and I would cry from lack of sleep. But once I got started with our day I would be totally fine.. Until 6:00 pm when the anxiety would creep back in. This lasted for about 3-4 weeks... And then we had a come to Jesus meeting. I had to recognize that I couldn't do it all myself and Mike had to recognize that I was a crazy hormonal nursing freak that needed some more help. And so we made more of a plan on how to handle these sleepless nights. Mike changed the diapers and then handed her off to me for the nursing. 

This was just one of the many "come to Jesus meetings" we have had over the last 18 months. We have argued because we were tired. We have argued because we didn't see eye to eye on something. And the only thing that helps us after an argument is compromise. Sometimes it's hard, but we have definitely learned how to compromise and communicate on a whole different level since having Lilly, which has only made our marriage stronger. It's not all about us anymore. Now we have this little person that we have to think of and put first. Which leads me to my next realization after baby...

Dads are going to feel left out or not needed at one point or another, and this is something else we had to learn how to balance. Here I was nursing Lilly 24/7, changing diapers, giving baths, and practicing tummy time while Mike was at work getting a picture text of Lilly every hour. I knew that child like the back of my hand. I knew what her cries meant and the exact way she had to be held or bounced to calm her down. We were stuck like glue. But all of my energy and attention were going into this little baby that I had no energy or attention left to give my husband. This is a hard one for moms and dads. And once again we had to learn how to communicate on a whole new level. And over time we have learned that our marriage is just as important as Lilly and we have found a new balance. Lilly deserves to see two parents that love each other very much. Date nights and spending time doing things as a couple away from your child is important for your marriage. And you deserve that time with each other! All of those diaper changes and sleepless nights prove it. And it is so much easier now that Lilly's a little older. It's so easy to get wrapped up in all of the new parenthood things that you forget to make time for each other. It's not right or wrong, it's just another thing you have to work on. And it's always worth it. 

So those are some of the hard things we have gone through since having Lilly, but there have been far more wonderful things that have happened to our marriage. I have seen my husband in a totally new way. My heart melts when Lilly gives him a kiss, or when he makes her do the gut laugh, or when he sings and dances with her in the kitchen. I fall in love all over again. He has supported and encouraged and reassured me when I've questioned my mommy abilities and I have done the same for him. We have taking this incredibly awesome experience and grown our marriage into what it is now. We are nowhere close to perfect, believe me, but a promise is a promise, and I look forward to all of these new changes and experiences life will continue to bring as long as he's by my side holding my hand. We are in this together, forever and always. 

Wonderful Ones

I haven't blogged in over a month! Life has been so so busy since school started back. I spend my mornings sleeping in till the last possible second and my afternoons rushing to daycare to pick up my sweet Lilly Bug... Come home and play, eat dinner, give Lilly a bath, and then it's off to bed. We seriously live for the weekends. If you've ever been around a 1 year old then you know how much fun they are! I swear, each day with Lilly just gets better and better. I absolutely love this age. Here are a few things that I love the most right now:

Goodbye kisses in the morning 

The way she says "I wuv you"

How she constantly wants to go outside

The yogurt handprints on my front door

Finding random things of mine in random places (trash can, pantry, clothes hamper)

That there's a slide in my living room

Singing songs and hearing her little voice singing right along

The sound of her feet running across the floor

Her footed pajamas 

The way she likes to hold our hands

The way she says "Jesus" when we sing Jesus Loves Me

Her gut laugh when she's really cracked up about something... Ahhh that's the best 

Her fearlessness 

Her love for books

Her love for animals 

Her smile

The trail of Cheerios all over my house

Her artwork from school

Things I currently don't love:

Brushing teeth 

Cutting fingernails 

Leaving for work 

I know I've said this before, but I just absolutely love being a mom. Lilly continues to bring so much joy into our lives each and everyday. God has blessed our family so much. I feel like I have everything, like the luckiest person in the world. We sure do love our Lilly Bug! 

You Can Do It!

Since its been a year since I started my blog, I thought I would celebrate by blogging about something that is very important to me. Any guesses? That's right..... Breastfeeding! Now, let me start out by saying that wanting to not use formula is NOT the same as saying that formula is bad, and the mere existence of women who breastfeed does not serve to stigmatize those women who cannot or do not. Breastfeeding or formula feeding is a personal choice and you always have the right to chose how you feed your baby. Ok, so here we go! 

I attended a breastfeeding conference here in Pitt County last weekend with my good friend Julie who is pregnant. I didn't really know what to expect but it was wonderful! There were different booths set up with all different types of information for new moms on how to have a successful breastfeeding relationship with your baby. They had a few guest speakers that shared their breastfeeding stories and it got me thinking... If I could share my breastfeeding story, what would I say? 

I always knew I would breastfeed. I grew up watching older cousins breastfeed and I even breastfed my baby dolls I'm sure. Then I was able to watch my sister-in-laws breastfed all three of my nieces and nephew. And then I became pregnant. 

Mike and I never even had a discussion on whether or not I would breastfeed. Once we started to realize how expensive diapers and daycare were going to be, not having to buy expensive formula on top of that became the number 1 reason why I wanted to breastfeed. We attended a breastfeeding class together and I went in thinking I was going to learn how to get the baby to latch and how to hold the baby while breastfeeding and then be on my way.... Boy was I wrong. I had absolutely no idea how awesome breastfeeding was for the baby AND the momma. I learned that breastfeeding reduces the risk of a bunch of different cancers for mom. I learned that breastfeeding reduces illnesses in babies like allergies, obesity, and ear infections. I learned how breastmilk is always ready and always the right temperature for your baby. I learned a TON. I knew breastmilk was good, but I didn't know how good it was until after this class. And Mike was all about Lilly having something that was 100% natural. And all of a sudden, the fact that breastmilk is FREE became much lower on my list of why I wanted to breastfeed. I wanted the best for me and my baby. But even after this epiphany, I had no idea how much I would love nursing my child. 

I will never forget the moment when I breastfed Lilly for the first time, shortly after giving birth to her. Her little hand wrapped around my finger as tears fell from my face. It was the most beautiful moment I have ever experienced. And every time we hit a rough patch or I felt exhausted or felt like giving up (because that will happen at some point) I would think back to that moment and realize how awesome and lucky I am to be able to breastfeed. I've had times where I doubted my supply and wondered if Lilly was getting enough. I had to learn how to trust my body and my baby. I had to tune out any bad advice and rely on my mommy instincts. I had the most amazing support group of friends, family, lactation consultants, AND my amazing husband. Support is everything, especially in the beginning. And because of all this, I have been able to breastfeed Lilly for 16 months and counting. I have no idea when our breastfeeding journey will end. I stopped thinking of breastfeeding in terms of a goal a long time ago. I've nursed Lilly anywhere and everywhere, not just because it's my right and the law protects me or to make a statement, but simply because she was hungry. It has been the absolute best decision for our family. 

So for any mommies that are breastfeeding or are interested in breastfeeding, know that if I can do it, you can too! Get educated, get support, and enjoy every moment.