Mother May I

Remember that blog I posted, The No Cry Sleep Solution? Yeah, we can throw that one out the window. There has been a lot of changes going on lately. These are changes that needed to happen and they have made things so much better! I knew we had to do something when I picked up Lilly from daycare one day last week. I usually talk to her all the way home. That day I didn't say a word. I was so exhausted from the night before. I couldn't even find the energy to ask her how her day was. I needed sleep. That realization slapped me in the face so hard that I'm pretty sure my grandma felt it.

My last post stated that we were going to start keeping Lilly in her crib and letting her learn how to soothe herself back to sleep. Co-sleeping was not working for us anymore because Lilly was waking up multiple times a night and wanting to nurse back to sleep, just for comfort. I emailed my sister-in-law and asked for advice. She told me exactly what they did with Cole and how much it has helped. Jenn said something that really hit home. She said that when they decided to let Cole learn how to self soothe it was like she needed permission from somebody. In her case it was her sister-in-law that walked her through it. This was so true for me. I felt like I needed permission to do what we were about to do. Jenn granted me that permission.

Night one- Last Sunday was our first attempt at keeping Lilly in her crib. I nursed her until she was almost asleep and laid her down. She immediately started crying. Crap. I took a nice long shower and Mike stood over Lilly and rubbed her. When I got out of the shower she was still fussing. Crap. We turned on the baby monitor and left the room. She stopped crying a few minutes later. We survived. Lilly wasn't even crying real tears. It was more of a "I'm so mad at you" cry. Lilly woke up 3 times that night. I nursed her once. But all I had to do the other times were reach my hand through the crib and rub her and she would go right back to sleep. I knew in the morning that Lilly would hate me. I was so worried that she would be in a bad mood but the complete opposite happened. Lilly was the happiest she had been in a long time in the morning! This showed us that she had slept much better in her crib!

Night two- Mike had a meeting Monday night so bedtime was all on me. Crap. I just knew she was going to cry and cry and I was going to cave in. I nursed her and laid her down and waited for the world to end BUT she fell right asleep. No crying. No tears. IT WAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!! She woke up twice that night and went right back to sleep with no issues. I have never slept so good in my whole life. I felt like a brand new person.

Night 3- Lilly slept until 3:45am people! This was almost an 8 hour stretch. I nursed her and she went right back to sleep. Amazing.

Every night has continued to be about the same. She wakes up twice at the most but it's not for long. I am hoping that she can stay on this schedule as best we can while we are home visiting family for the holidays. She also continues to wake up happy and well rested in the mornings.

I definitely thought this process was going to be absolutely horrible. I had painted this awful picture in my head about letting Lilly cry and self soothe. A lot of that came from reading stuff online. I think reading and learning is awesome and super helpful but sometimes it can do the opposite. I read stories of babies throwing up in their cribs from crying so much. Yeah, not the best thing to read! But we had our own technique of how we were going to do this. We stay and rub her if we need to. She has a toy that plays soft music that helps soothe her. We give ourselves time limits as to how long we will let her fuss. We would never ignore her and let her cry herself sick. That's just not a realistic picture of how this works. And I know that now. Lilly has gone from waking and nursing 5+ times a night to waking once or twice. And it's only been a week! Another thing that really helped me stay strong was that I had a few people that I was texting each morning to let them know about our night. This held me accountable! And they were so encouraging! So thank you Amy and mom! You have helped me in so many ways!

This was something that I had to be 100% ready to do. I couldn't have done this even a day earlier than we did. Each day I am learning more and more and trusting those mommy instincts. I have also learned to never say never. Things are going to come up and your initial opinion about things will change. And that is OKAY. It is all part of the learning process!

So proud of our Lilly Bug!

Mommy Meltdown

99.9% of mommy hood has been AMAZING! We are blessed beyond belief to have sweet Lilly. She is such a happy and beautiful baby. We shopped for 3 straight hours on Saturday and she was just as happy as she could be strolling around the mall. We picked her up from the church nursery today and they told us she was the happiest baby in there. She gives us the best smiles and laughs. She is most definitely our favorite person. So what about that other .1%... As much as I hate admitting this... Sometimes being a parent (and a new parent at that) can be hard. I don't know why that's hard to say? Everybody knows it's true. I hit a rough patch this week. I said things I NEVER thought I would say. And my wonderful husband was right there to pull me back up.

As you all know, Lilly is the worst sleeper on the planet. We are going on month 3 of no sleep. MONTH 3!!! That one month where she slept through the night was a cruel joke. I've read books. I've done research. I've asked other mommies. I truly believe that Lilly associates nursing with sleep. So every time she wakes up at night she immediately thinks she needs to nurse. So I spend most of my nights nursing her back to sleep. Thursday night I tried a little experiment. She fell asleep at 7:45. I pumped a small bottle and had it ready. She woke up at 9:15. She starts out with a whine that will turn into a full out cry. I picked her up and tried the bottle. That was one pissed baby. She wanted nothing to do with the bottle. So I laid her next to me and let her cry. Yep... I refused to nurse her. Gasp! I knew she wasn't hungry. I patted her belly. She fell back asleep within 20 minutes. This was a huge breakthrough!!! She fell asleep without nursing!!!! But she preceded to wake up at 2, 3, 4, and 5:30... This was my breaking point. I felt so frustrated and hopeless. Nobody else's baby is doing this! She gets plenty of milk and food during the day. She just has no idea how to put herself back to sleep. And I blame myself for this. This is what I have to teach her.

I left for work feeling super emotional. During my planning period I went into my little room where I pump. I had a text from Mike asking me if I was ok. And then it just all came out like one huge therapy session. I told him how frustrated I was that Lilly wasn't sleeping well... how my back is sore from the way I have to sleep... how I feel like nobody can relate to this... And then I said the worst thing of all. I told him I was beginning to hate breastfeeding and that I was just so over it. That's when Mike said the most encouraging words to me. They were the most perfect words said at the most perfect time.

"But think of all the good you have done for Lilly by breastfeeding. Babe don't get discouraged you are an outstanding mommy. This is just a tiny obstacle we will overcome. I will help you. You have done what benefits Lilly the most!"

And then I start crying in my little pumping closet.

There is no way I would have made it this far without Mike. The way he has supported me and guided me throughout this process has been absolutely amazing. Lilly has brought out a side of my husband that I've never seen before. And it all started the second she was born. He changed every single diaper at that hospital. He was right there beside me every time it was feeding time. He treats Lilly like a little princess. He can even make her laugh while cleaning out her nose. He is my rock. And I don't tell him that enough.

This IS just a tiny obstacle that we will overcome. Lilly will learn how to sleep in her own bed without nursing. I will sleep again too. And all will be right with the world... Until our next obstacle arises. We are going to focus on keeping her in the crib and letting her learn how to soothe herself back to sleep. It's not going to be easy but it's going to be worth it.

And I don't hate breastfeeding. :-)

I Saw The Sign

Ever since i started this blog, I find myself writing blogs in my head all of the time. I have a lot of ideas and topics for future blogs. There is one topic I've been thinking about a lot recently but had no ending. Today I got that ending that I needed.

Every morning (and yes I mean every) I ask myself and God the same questions as I leave my house for work: Why am I leaving Lilly? Why do I have to work. Why can't I be a stay at home mommy? It's been even worse the past few weeks as Lilly has started crying some mornings as I leave. I answer those questions the only way I know how... I tell myself that God has a plan for me and if I was suppose to be at home full time with Lilly then I would be. This helps me to move forward, walk outside, start my car, and drive to work (after kissing Lilly goodbye for the 100th time). But I wanted something more. I wanted a sign. I needed something to happen so that I could say, "Ohhhhh, so this is why I'm teaching this year".

Our school is practicing Sean Covey's 7 Habits of Happy Kids (google it). We had a staff development meeting about it today. It was an eye opening experience. To make a long story short, these kids need so much more than just a teacher. They need a leader, a friend, a mentor, and a momma. They need hugs. They need to be told that their art work is beautiful. They need someone to put their hair in a ponytail. Some of them need food. They need to feel safe. They need to feel loved and important. Some of my kids get these things at home all of the time, but some of my kids only get these things at school. And God has chosen me to be a part of these children's lives. This is why I have to go to work. This is why I have to leave sweet Lilly every morning. It's never going to be easy to leave in the morning but I have to remember that God has a plan for me. God has a plan for all of us. I just have to have faith in him. I have to look at the bigger picture. I've been so consumed with feeling guilty for leaving Lilly and thinking "why me" that I failed to see all of these signs that were right in front of my face.

So tomorrow morning as I stall to leave and go to give Lilly one more kiss, I will try not to feel sad. I will try to remember that every thing happens for a reason. And I will think about the other 18 kids that will be waiting for me at school.

The No Cry Sleep Solution

A while back I posted about Lilly's sleep habits. She went from sleeping all night in her rocker to waking up multiple times throughout the night while trying to transition her into the crib. We have been co-sleeping for about 2 months. Even though her crib is 2 feet from our bed we couldn't find the energy to keep getting up. We also lacked a consistent night time routine. Lilly would fall asleep anywhere between 7:30-9:30. This is when the research began!

We absolutely did not want to try the CIO (cry it out) method. One reason is because I have walked into daycare on occasion to find Lilly crying in her crib because she's "sleepy". If she's doing this at daycare I definitely don't want her to do it at night. That's too much crying for that sweet little face. Also, our job as parents is to comfort and soothe- even at 2 am. When I'm upset about something Mike hugs me and comforts me. He makes sure I'm ok. He doesn't leave me to cry by myself. So why would we expect Lilly to be left alone to soothe herself? I've read where so many parents have tried CIO and it worked after a few days but then a week later they were right back at square one. Nope, not doing it!

Don't get me wrong.. When you are sleep deprived you are desperate to try anything. I definitely thought about trying CIO. People do have success with it. I attempted this one night for about 15 minutes and it was absolutely awful. All of these opinions were formed AFTER I started reading all about sleep training. Then it just made sense to us not to go that route.

And then I found the book, The No Cry Sleep Solution. I feel like she wrote the book just for me. It took me some time to finish it. I only had time to read while I pumped at work. Some things we have tried already and have found immediate success. Other things we haven't even attempted yet. If I was a stay at home mom it would be super easy to apply all of the suggestions because I wouldn't have to get out of my pj's the next day. But I have to get up at 5:30 and go teach 18 second graders...

Sooooo, here is what I've learned so far and what has worked so far!

Starting at about 5:30 we begin the nighttime routine. Lilly eats some dinner, gets a bath if she needs one, puts her pj's on, reads some books and plays in a quite area without a lot of bright lights, and then nurses and falls asleep. We didn't really have this routine in place before. We would play and jack her up and then struggle to put her to sleep. She now falls asleep without much work.

Now, getting her to stay asleep is what we are still working on. Lilly has associated nursing with helping her sleep. So when she wakes up in the middle of the night she wonders where the boob is and immediately starts looking for it. So I spend a lot of time nursing at night because it's a quick fix. She goes right back to sleep and I don't even have to get out of bed. I'm sure it would be a lot easier if lilly took a paci. This is what I need to work on. The book offers many suggestions for this very situation.

So now I just need to decide if I want to keep things the same or really dive into this 100%. I'm just trying to enjoy this time regardless because it's happening so fast. The most important thing is that I'm meeting all of Lilly's needs.

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, Lilly has officially celebrated her first Thanksgiving. It will be hard to top this one! She started her day with Cousin Cole while the daddies went hunting. They are so precious together. I think Lilly was jealous that she couldn't run around like Cole. After a nice nap in D-daddy's arms we rode up to the farm for the annual Siegner Thanksgiving lunch. Lilly met some new cousins and listened to her Uncle Chad break it down on the banjo. She got lots of hugs, kisses, and snuggles. Then she took nap #2 on the way over to the Stec's annual Thanksgiving dinner where she got even more hugs, kisses, and snuggles.

I am so thankful that we are able to spend these special holidays with both of our families. Not everybody is this lucky. Lilly is so blessed to have such a wonderful family that loves her unconditionally. I am so happy that God chose me to be Lilly's mommy. This is something that I thank him for every night. She makes a bad day wonderful. She brings so much joy and love into my heart on a daily basis. She is my everything and I love her to the moon and back.

Now, who's ready for Christmas!!! :-)

Sweet Memories

I was folding up some laundry yesterday and Lilly was in her bouncer. I was trying to fold some sheets and I waved them up in the air and let them fall down so I could get the sides even. Lilly laughed and laughed at this! My mind immediately went back to one of my childhood memories... Something I probably haven't thought about in 20 years. I remember my mom trying to fold up the sheets and she would throw them in the air like a parachute and let me run all over them and stomp on the air bubbles until they were flat. I can't believe I had forgotten about that but I also can't believe how one little action can spark a 20 year old memory. I can't wait to make so many new memories with Lilly Bug.

This is why I started this blog. I want to document all of these precious memories. I already barely remember Lilly as a newborn (or what I ate for breakfast for that matter). Lilly got to spend a whole afternoon with her pal Emma yesterday. We gave Lil some of Emma's puffs to try and she liked them so we got her some today at the store. After eating some peaches (another first) I broke some puffs up in little pieces (yes, first time mom syndrome at its finest) and that little booger picked them up and put them in her mouth!! My baby was feeding herself! Seriously, where the heck is that time machine!

I Want My Mommy!

The best place to cry is in your mothers arms. This is more true for me today than its ever been. I can be completely fine until I hear my moms voice on the other end of the phone and then i turn into a sobbing mess. She knows me so well.

Lilly woke up with a fever Sunday night. She had a runny nose and a cough. I stayed home with her on Monday and she had a fever on and off. Early Tuesday morning her fever got up to 102.8. I took her to the doctor to get her checked out. She had an upper respiratory infection. They told me to just keep giving Tylenol for her fever. She didn't have anymore fevers that day and slept a lot so I thought she was finally feeling better.

Tuesday night Lilly started acting fussy and uncomfortable and kept scratching her head. We were up with her from 2:00-5:00. Around 6:30am we noticed that her head was very red and covered in scratches from her itching it. Nothing we did could calm her down. We felt so helpless and just wanted to soothe her. I started saying those crazy prayers that go like this: Dear God, you can give me Lilly's rash and make it 10x worse just so she can feel better. She didn't even want to nurse! My little nursing queen would pull off and scream. The cure all was not working! I probably looked like a robot that had short circuited.

So what do you do when you are all out of answers? You call your momma! And that is exactly what I did at 6:30 am. I could barely speak I was so upset. I just wanted Lilly to feel better. Then my mom said 4 little words that made it all better- "I'll be right there"

I took Lilly back to the doctor right when they opened. They checked her ears again and even did some blood work but everything was negative. By this point her head was so red and itchy that she couldn't keep her hands off of it and she was screaming. My heart broke into a million pieces. They just told me that the rash was caused from her fever and that it was very common and they sent me on my way.

When my mom got to our house I felt so relieved! She even brought groceries and made her famous chicken-pot-pie and some chili. She put a cool washcloth on Lilly's head and that seemed to help. She sent me off to take a nap.

Lilly was still very uncomfortable the rest of the day but my mom reassured me that she was going to be ok. She stayed up with Lilly until 2 in the morning so we could sleep.

The next day Lilly seemed so much better. I was able to go back to work. Lilly slept a lot and her head was finally looking better. She was still scratching it on and off but seemed much more relaxed. My mom took her out shopping that afternoon and got Lilly a new toy! This time we sent my mom off to take a nap and Lilly slept great that night.

My mom left Friday and Lilly was able to go to daycare. I was sad to see her go. I don't know what I would do without my mom. She can still kiss my boo boo's and make everything better. And more importantly, she shows me what kind of mother I need to be to Lilly. What the daughter does, the mother did.

Over The Hump

Lilly is 7 months old today. Lilly is 7 months old today. Lilly is 7 months old today. Yep, doesn't matter how much I say it, it just doesn't seem real. How can 7 months go by so quickly? She is now on the older side of a babies first year. Can't I just pretend she is still 6 months old for the next few months just like a 42 year old woman still celebrates her 39th birthday every year? I know, I know... I should be excited that Lilly is growing and learning so much! And I truly am! It is amazing to watch her grow and she is SO MUCH FUN! But this didn't stop me from crying yesterday as I packed away her newborn clothes. I found her hat from the hospital and the outfit she came home in. Waterworks!

These are just a few milestones (or lillystones) that she has achieved over the past 7 months and fun facts:

Rolling over
Sitting up
Rocking- if I'm not rocking I'm sleeping
Laughing- anything daddy does is funny
Talking- baba, mama, dada, and gurgling
Grabbing and holding toys
No teeth
Has only had 2 colds and a few fevers
Foods so far- oatmeal, sweet potatoes, and avocado
Sleep schedule- I'm a work in progress!
Favorite toy- Scout and my new squeaky blocks
Weight- A little over 16 lbs
Favorite activity- nursing... Yep definitely still my favorite thing to do
Hair- can't wear my bows yet
Nicknames my crazy parents call me- peanut, peanut head, peanut butter, sweet girl, sweetie, sweetie pie, LG, pumpkin, pumpkin head, miss priss... This list could go on and on!

We love our little peanut head!

Goodnight Moon

We went to Barnes and Noble on Sunday in search for the book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I've heard so many great things about this book. It's designed for parents who want to help their children develop better sleep habits without the baby having to cry it out. It has come to our attention that we need a better nighttime routine (and more sleep wouldn't hurt either!).

We obviously didn't have a baby so we could sleep hours on end with no interruptions. Every parent knows that you will have to sacrifice sleep for your baby. I never want to complain about the lack of sleep (whine...well, maybe a little) because Lilly is so wonderful and we are so blessed. I never want to complain about anything! It almost makes me feel guilty because i know how fortunate we are to have this healthy baby. But the truth of the matter is that we all need more sleep and Lilly needs a more consistent bedtime routine. There, I said it!

Around 3 months old, Lilly was going to sleep by 10:00 pm at the latest, waking for only 1 night feed between 3 and 4, and then sleeping until 6:30 or 7:00 am. I have always nursed Lilly to sleep since day 1. This was wonderful and we finally stopped feeling like zombies.

Around 4 months, Lilly was sleeping through the night! She was still going to bed around 9:30 or 10 but had cut out that 1 night feeding. We didn't know what to do with ourselves! I found myself putting my hand on her chest throughout the night just so I could feel it go up and down. I guess I thought that Lilly would continue to sleep through the night forever. This thought makes me laugh out loud.

Around 5 1/2 months, Lilly's sleep habits completely changed. She had started daycare and was adjusting to that schedule. She was outgrowing her rock and sleep cradle so we started to transition her to the crib. She was hitting that 6 month growth spurt. She had a nasty cold. And to top it all off, she was showing some signs of teething. Sleep went out the window.

This is when we started letting Lilly co-sleep. It was the only way I could get some descent sleep because I could nurse her back to sleep laying down. What started out as a quick fix has quickly become our nightly routine. Lilly wakes 3-4 times a night now to nurse. She starts out in her crib and then we bring her into our bed. I don't mind the co-sleeping and the night feedings. I enjoy that extra time I get to spend with her. What I need help with is getting Lilly to sleep at a descent time and helping her find ways to fall back asleep on her own if she wakes up more than once or twice. As of right now, it takes us about 2 hours to get Lilly to settle down and go to sleep.

I'm only half way through the book and I already love it. Leaving Lilly to cry in her crib all alone is just not for us. I can't wait to share our progress! Stay tuned!

My Breastfeeding Journey

Having a baby has been the greatest experience of my life so far. Being able to breastfeed Lilly has been such an amazing journey so far. I feel so blessed because breastfeeding doesn't always work out for everybody and some women don't get to experience it or have to stop before they are ready to. This is a blog about why it has worked for me so far and why I want to continue breastfeeding. If you are a mom to be, want to be a mom in the future, or would like to give breastfeeding a try with baby # 2, I hope you find this helpful! I am no expert. At ALL!!! Just sharing my own journey.

I have experienced a million different phases of breastfeeding over the past 6 months. Let's start from the beginning.

Phase one: Before Lilly was born Mike and I attended a breastfeeding class. I HIGHLY recommend this. It gave me a starting point and provided us with so much information. YouTube videos are helpful too. They show you tricks on how to get a good latch during those first few days. This is super important for you and your nipples!!

Phase two: Shortly after Lilly was born we had our first successful feed. You have to wait for the baby to open their mouth very wide to get a successful latch. Lilly did perfect. We fed on demand every 2 hours. This means that I fed Lilly every 2 hours or less depending on if she was acting hungry our not. So every 2 hours the nurse would come in and write down her feedings. At first you can be a little sore but breastfeeding is not suppose to hurt. I repeat, breastfeeding is NOT suppose to hurt. A bad latch will make you cringe so it's important to pull the baby off and relatch. You might have to do this 3 or 4 times until the baby is latched properly. Newborn babies tummies are so tiny that all they need is colostrum
(what you produce before your milk comes in) so formula is not needed as a supplement. Babies need to feed on demand to help up your milk supply. This does not mean that they are starving. It is just their way to help you produce milk. Aren't they smart!?

Wow, this seems like a lot of work doesn't it!? Was I exhausted after the first night? Yes. But I knew this was what I wanted to do for Lilly. Sleep is overrated anyways. ;-)

Phase three: After leaving the hospital I quickly realized that I missed that nurse coming in every two hours to keep me on track. I had to start using my own brain. My milk came in the day we came home. This is when I downloaded the greatest app in the world. It's called ibreastfeed. You can time your feedings and document which side the baby fed off of last. It was a lifesaver. Don't try to remember all of this stuff on your own. Just download the app. Seriously, do it now! So, every time Lilly was ready to eat I had to have the boppy pillow, a huge glass of cold water, and my ibreastfeed app. Thank you hubby!

Phase four: Lilly was a pro at breastfeeding. I loved it. I didn't leave the house much but if I did it was only quick trips here and there. If we wanted to go out for dinner I had to plan it just right so Lilly wouldn't want to eat while we were out. I had messed around with the pump a little bit but it was hard to pump and breastfeed so I just stuck with breastfeeding. I had a small stash in the freezer. I remember feeling anxious if Lilly went longer than 2 hours between feedings.

Phase five: Ok, screw that! I was now more comfortable going out and about and not worrying about Lilly's schedule. If she got hungry I would feed her in the car or in a dressing room at the store. It was fine for her to go longer than 2 hours. She would let me know if she was hungry. I no longer needed the ibreastfeed app to survive.

Phase six: Around 4 months old Lilly really started to recognize the world around her. This made breastfeeding more of a challenge. She would latch on and off. She liked to take breaks and look around. If I needed her to nurse faster, a nice quiet room worked the best. Even now she has her moments where she is a lazy nurser. She likes to play with my hair. She likes to smile at her daddy. She likes to laugh and talk. And I like to watch her.

Phase seven: Lilly takes a bottle just fine. Then after a month of not having a bottle she decided she hated them (a week before daycare). Mommy has a heart attack. Mommy feels guilty for not letting her practice more over the summer. We try all different types of bottles. Lilly starts daycare and drinks her bottles. Mommy aged 10 years in 1 week.

Phase eight: Pumping at work. It sucks. But I do it for Lilly!

Phase nine: OUCH!!!! She bit me!!! She doesn't have any teeth thank the lord! I cried. I think it hurt my feelings more than it hurt me. I got over it.

Phase ten: NIP (nursing in public) has begun. One of my friends made me a nursing cover. My first NIP experience happened at Chili's. Lilly was hungry. I was hungry. I nursed her and ate my food. Nobody noticed.

Phase eleven: I now nurse Lilly anywhere and everywhere. I look back on all of the many phases we have been through in just 6 short months and think about all of the many phases to come. We have come so far! Nursing Lilly is my favorite part of the day. I can sooth her instantly just by nursing. This has come in handy when she doesn't feel well. It's a cure all!  

Baby Food!

After exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months, Lilly had her first taste of baby food tonight! Tonight's menu consisted of a tablespoon of organic baby oatmeal mixed with breastmilk. We will practice with this for a few days and then start sweet potatoes next week.

We have just entered a whole new ball game. I guess crawling is next up to bat. How exciting! (and scary!) I hope that milestone doesn't come as quickly as the other ones have. But I know it will... So all we can do is enjoy every single second with our sweet Lilly Bug and hold and kiss her while she still let's us. Boy do we love our Lilly Grace!

Saturday's

Our weekends are oh so different now that we have sweet Lilly to enjoy them with. You really do wonder what you used to do with all that "free time". This is such a huge lifestyle change that I hardly remember life before Lilly. Sometimes I feel like she's been with us forever. This is how our Saturday went:

Lilly woke up with the sun at 6:30 am. After a diaper change and some nursing we sat her up in bed and played. This could easily be the best part of my day... But it gets better!

We get out of bed around 8:00. Lilly plays in her bouncer while I shower and Mike cooks up a good ol' breakfast. After some coffee I picked Lilly up only to discover a huge blowout that went up her back and all over her bouncer. BATH TIME!!!

During bath time Mike comes in to watch Lilly splash around. He tells me that I can put Lilly on the other side of her baby tub now that she can sit up pretty well. It was so much easier! I didn't even realize that her tub was designed like that and I give her a bath all of the time. You learn something new everyday! Good job daddy!

After bath time Lilly took a nice long nap in her swing. Mike went to the grocery store and I got ready for the day. Then we all hopped in the truck and drove to the pumpkin patch. Lilly wore her special Halloween outfit.

Lilly saw lots of cool stuff at the pumpkin patch! She really liked the animals. We took a few pictures and then picked out a pumpkin before going back home. (oh yeah, and a quick stop at DQ so I could get a pumpkin pie blizzard. Thank the lord they didn't have this when I was pregnant or I would have gained an extra 30 lbs).

Mike went hunting this afternoon and Lilly and I played some more! I even painted my toenails while she sat up on her playmat. I painted my fingernails too but they got jacked up before they dried because, well you know, I have a baby!

Now I'm sitting in bed nursing a sleepy baby and getting some extra cuddles in. The weekends are just too short. This could also easily be my favorite part of the day. But the truth is, I love it all. Even the blow out diapers and the messed up nail polish. I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.

Informative Articles

I've been reading a lot of articles lately. Kelly Mom is one of my favorite websites! It has tons of useful and relevant information. I think it is so important to educate yourself. Keeping in touch with other mommies is also another great resource to use. I'm thankful for all of my mommy friends and the advice they have shared with me. Below are 2 articles that I have found helpful recently. One is about sleep patterns in babies. It's OK if your baby is not sleeping through the night. The other article is about starting solids and explains are decision to delay solids for the first 6 months. Check it out!

http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleep/

http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/delay-solids/

Memory Lane

Tomorrow is Lilly's half birthday... 6 months old! Whoever came up with the saying "babies don't keep" wasn't joking! I feel like she was just born. Let's take a trip down memory lane... Grab a snack and something to drink. This post will be long. This is my birth story.

Let me start out by saying there have been three moments in my life where time has stood still. Everything around me seemed to stop and all that mattered was what was happening in that exact moment.
1. When Mike asked me to marry him on August 16, 2008.
2. When I saw that positive pregnancy test the morning of August 5, 2011.
3. When I held my sweet baby girl for the first time on April 4, 2012.

Before I got pregnant I randomly watched this documentary on Netflix called The Business of Being Born. It was all about how more and more mothers are "scheduling" their births for when it is convenient for them and natural births are almost unheard of. It also talked about how an epidural can slow down the birth. If this happens they give you pitocin to speed it back up and then the baby can go into distress and can cause you to have an emergency c-section. FREAKED ME OUT! From that day on I decided I wanted to try and give birth the old fashion way... No meds. My mom birthed 3 kids that way! How bad could it be? The doctors told my petite little mom her body was just built to have babies. She had all of us super fast. I prayed that I would be the same.

Fast forward to the morning of August 5, 2011. I'm standing in the bathroom holding a positive pregnancy test. Mikes in the kitchen eating breakfast. The first thought I had after time started moving again was "oh crap, this baby has to come out of me in 9 months". I stored that thought in the back of my brain and ran into the kitchen to show Mike what we had done. We had made a baby!

After a few doctors appointments we decided to use the midwives at the doctors office. We felt so comfortable with them. I started to tell Mike how I wanted to try and have a natural birth. His response was always the same... "You can totally do that babe! You have such a high pain tolerance." The more he said this and the more I talked about it the more confident I became in myself. My body was designed to do this. So many women have done it. I can do it too.

After attending our birthing class around 32 weeks I was even more ready. I had all of the positions down. I knew how to breathe. I knew the process of labor. It will start out slow and then your contractions will gradually increase in frequency and intensity. You can use the different positions to help with pain. Sometimes your water breaks but most of the time that happens after you are already in labor at the hospital. I had Mike make me a labor playlist on the iPod. Music would help me get through it. I was ready!

Fast forward again to April 3rd 2012. I was 38 weeks pregnant. I had called my mom that morning on the way to work. I was having some cramps here and there but feeling pretty good. I remember my mom sounding excited about my cramps but I totally blew it off. I was so sure I would go over my due date because most first time moms do. I had a doctors appointment that afternoon. Mike and I ate dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings and then we got some yogurt. We ended the night with a nice long "waddle" around the neighborhood. I called my parents around 9:00 to ask them something and the first thing my dad says is "Are you in labor?" Not yet dad!

I woke up and looked at the clock. 2:45 am. I had a bad cramp. I got up for yet another pee break. I got back in the bed and sat up straight. This cramp was really bothering me. Then all of a sudden a huge gush of water rushed out of me. I froze. Did I seriously just pee my pants at 3 in the morning!!? When I finally regain my senses I shook Mike awake and told him that I think my water just broke. In his groggy state he asked me if I was sure. The answer was definitely yes!!

This is the part of the story where I start acting like a crazy person. I was excited and terrified. How could this be happening!? I have 2 weeks to go! I am supposed to clean up this house over spring break which is a week away. Mike has an assignment due tomorrow for grad school. This is not the perfect time!!!! Well, it might have not been the perfect time but it was Lilly's time. This baby was ready to come out!

I called the midwife. She told me to try and get some rest, eat a light breakfast and then come to the hospital around 7am. Rest?? Eat?? My water just broke! How am I supposed to rest and eat? I needed to shave my legs. I needed to pack my bag. Thank the Lord Lilly's bag was packed and ready to go. I laid back down in the bed and tried to rest and time these mild contractions. This is when the you know what hit the fan. This is when we had to throw all of those birthing and labor notes out the window. This is when you realize what they mean when they say that your birthing plan won't always go as planned.

My contractions went from 0 to 60 just like that. They tell you to go to the hospital when the contractions are 5 min. apart. By 3:30 am I was having a stop you dead in your tracks contraction every 2 min. We were running around the house trying to pack and every 2 min. Mike had to come and help me breathe. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I didn't cry but I sure did whine. I wanted to shred the birthing notes into a million little pieces. They infuriated me. How was this supposed to help me!? Nothing could help me! At one point I told Mike that I didn't want to do this. He told me that I didn't have a choice and that Lilly was ready to come and that everything would be ok. He was right. I didn't have a choice. And Lilly was definitely ready to meet us.

We got to the hospital at 5am. I'm pretty sure we got there in record time. In between contractions I told Mike I was scared. What if I was only 2 cm dilated and it already hurt this bad? How could I do this without pain medicine? Even though we had pre registered they somehow lost my paperwork so we had to sit up front and sign some forms before being put in a room. By this point I was in so much pain that I would double over and moan. The only words I could say were Mike and owwww. My poor husband.

We were finally in a room. The nurse came in and checked to see how dilated I was. She said I was 9 cm and we were going to meet our little Lilly in about an hour or so. My jaw fell to the floor. Just 3 short hours ago I was sleeping peacefully in my bed and now I'm about to have a baby. And then a HUGE wave of calmness fell over me. I got in the zone. I was going to have a baby. And all of a sudden the pain was not that bad. My breathing was more focused. I was ready.

I pushed for 3 hours. Mikes job was to give me water. He was good at his job. Between pushes I would stop and tell him it wasn't that bad. And the truth was it really wasn't! I didn't scream. I didn't cry out in pain. Everything was very calm. I was so focused. One more big push and Michelle (our midwife) told me to reach down and grab my baby. I pulled Lilly up to my chest. And once again time stood still.

I didn't get a trophy for having a natural childbirth. What I did get was a healthy 6 lbs 11 ounce perfect baby girl. What more could I ask for?

Sleepyhead

Crib- 0

Lilly- 3

The transition from the rocker to the crib has been fun! (yes, this is sarcasm). We recently moved Lilly's crib into our room. If you've read my previous blogs you know that our bedroom is downstairs and there is no way Miss Lilly can be that far away from us. She slept like a little angle in her fisher price rocker right beside me. Sometimes I would even hold her little hand while we slept. Now that she is sleeping in her crib she is waking up a lot more during the night. Last night she went to sleep around 9:00, woke up and nursed at 12, went back in crib, and woke up at 2:00. This is when the crib loses big time and we put Lilly in the bed. I can nurse laying down and everybody can sleep. I never thought I would do this but as long as you are super safe about cosleeping and have done your homework it can be great! Lilly sleeps so great after that 2 am feed. We ALL sleep good after that. I know eventually Lilly will adjust to her crib but I must say I love that extra cuddle time with her. There is also some growth spurts that happen around the 6 month mark that will interrupt sleep. The good news is that I am pumping 3 extra ounces a day after all of these extra night feedings!

Babies also wake more frequently during the night when they are hitting another milestone and in Lilly's case this involves sitting up on her own! I repeat... LILLY IS SITTING UP ON HER OWN! She literally learned how to do this overnight! We have been practicing this with pillows and whatnot. I walk into her classroom today and there she is sitting up on the mat in front of her good friend Emma trying to grab her socks. I couldn't believe my eyes. She was doing so great!! We practiced more when we got home. It is absolutely amazing what babies learn to do that first year. Every milestone has been fun but this one just seems different. This one seems so "grown up". What happened to my 6 lbs little girl? I really need to learn how to stop time. I'll put that on my never ending todo list :-)

The lowdown on mommy hood

I was talking to one of my parents after school today. She is the mother of 3 and her youngest cutie pie is 4 months old. I was out with Lilly the first of the week since she was still under the weather. I told her all about Lilly's rash and fever and how she just wanted to nurse and be comforted. And then this thought popped into my head... You see, before Lilly was born we always said Mike would be the one who would stay home with her on sick days. He has a crazy amount of sick time and I barely have any after maternity leave so it just made sense. It's easy to think things like this while your baby is still safe and warm all up in that belly. But then that baby is born and your whole entire life changes. Things you thought would be easy seem impossible all of a sudden. Why did I ever think I would be able to leave my sick baby? Mike is more than capable of keeping Lilly and is a darn good daddy but there is no way I could leave that sweet baby. So now I have even less sick days and a huge todo list at work but it's all worth it. My parent totally understood what I was saying too. It's like this secret mommy code.

There are other things that happen too after you hold that sweet baby for the first time. I'm like a sponge.. Constantly reading, researching, and learning new things about babies everyday! I'm obsessed! I have formed so many of my own opinions about raising a baby, where as BL (before Lilly) I just knew what I had seen or heard others do. And I never thought about doing it differently. I have learned that mommy instincts are a real thing and I follow mine all of time. If I don't feel right about something then I'm not going to do it... No matter who has done it before me. For instance, Lilly still sleeps in our room because it is what makes us feel comfortable (I might add that Mike has a good daddy instinct and we have been on the same page with these things). We are waiting until at least 6 months to start solids. We know that breastmilk should still be Lilly's #1 source of nutrition her first year of life. We feel that we should always comfort Lilly instead of letting her cry it out. This builds trust and confidence. I had no idea I would become so passionate about breastfeeding. I had no idea i would be able to breastfeed in front of my brothers (who are by the way awesome). I had no idea I wouldn't want Lilly to sleep in her own room. I had no idea it would be so hard to go back to work. I had no idea I would want to skip cereal or make our own baby food. But the second I looked into those beautiful eyes my mommy switch turned on big time and now I truly get it. Now I can fully understand all of these things. It's not just a thought anymore. It's everyday life. And boy do I have a good one.

And what's even more cool is that every mommy has the right to make their own decisions because every mommy is following their own heart, doing their own research, and forming their own opinions about what is best for their child. And that makes every mommy awesome. :-)

Connect the Dots

Once again Lilly Bug is under the weather with a fever... And this time she has a nice rash to go with it! Her fever started on Saturday and we noticed little red dots all over her last night. We took her up to the after hours clinic to get her checked out. They say it's just a virus! Got home around 9:00 and Lilly would not let us lay her down for a second. Poor baby just wanted to nurse and be held all night... So that's exactly what momma did! I used a sick day today to stay home with her and we just woke up from a nice nap. :-) She hasn't had a fever today so hopefully she will have a better night and start feeling better.

We went home this weekend to celebrate our birthdays (they are 4 days apart!). Lilly got her daddy a spongebob card. She got to hang out with cousin Cole too. They "talked" to each other and Cole showed her where her nose is and held her hand. Best Friends Forever! Cole is going to take good care of her. I see fishing and camping trips in their future.

Little Miss Popular

I'm convinced that we have the most perfect baby in the whole world. We can't go anywhere without people wanting to see and talk to Lilly...And she will talk right back to them. She has been so much fun this weekend. We went to a cookout last night and Lilly showed off her short vowel a skills. She talked to the whole grocery store today too. She has also learned how to make a high pitched squeal which I'm sure will embarrass us the next time we go out to eat :-) Aw, who am I kidding? We will probably make funny noises right back and the whole restaurant will be staring at us.

In other news, we are trying to transition Lilly into sleeping in her pack-n-play that's in our bedroom. Right now she sleeps in her fisher price rock and play sleeper. That thing has been awesome! BUT... She is going to outgrow it soon. The past few nights we have put her in the pack-n-play and she wakes up about an hour later. Not sure what is waking her up. She sleeps great in her rock and play. We are going to have to keep working on this. Her crib would be better but even her doctor recommended that she sleeps in the room with us until at least 6 months to reduce the risk of SIDS. And we are both A OK with this. Upstairs is just too far away! Mike would go check on her every hour I'm sure! And besides, what else am I going to stare at when I can't sleep!? I just love waking up to that sweet face.

Speaking of Mike, he has been the most supportive husband in the world when it comes to breastfeeding. He is a huge reason of why it has been so perfect and stress free. He makes me feel so proud of myself. I knew I would enjoy breastfeeding but I had no idea how much I would love it. I already feel like it's one of the biggest accomplishments of my life. And it's also been a tremendous help seeing my sister-in-laws breastfeed their babies. They have answered so many of my questions. I will definitely make it to my goal of 1 year. I love him!

I need to vacuum and fold clothes but I think I will hold Lilly and let her nurse a little longer... That's a no brainier! It can ALWAYS wait until tomorrow. :-)

Chatty Cathy

Lilly has officially started exploring her words and sounds! Last Sunday she was in her swing and just started saying babababa! It's so cool to see them actually form a sound and not just gurgle and coo. I picked her up from daycare on Friday and she was talking up a storm. The ladies said that Lilly is their talker and she talks all day long to the other babies. It is so cute. Then on Saturday she learned how to say mamamama. And when you say those sounds to her she studies your mouth so hard! Now we just need to practice our dada sound.

We took a trip home to Sanford this weekend. Lilly slept the whole way there and the whole way back today. This is also a first! She was so perfect all weekend. We took my grandparents to lunch and she talked and laughed the whole time. She even got some cute new fall outfits from her grandmas AND she got to see Aunt Liz! She had to show her how big she's gotten.

As far as this pesky cold, it's still hanging around but it's a lot better. The humidifier we got has helped a lot! Maybe she will be 100% better this week and she will never ever be sick again! ;-)

We made it!

We made it through my first week of school! I forgot how exhausting the first week is. Luckily Lilly slept through the night ALL week!! She even started going to bed earlier than usual. She must be sleepy from her fun filled days at school. The past few days she has been talking and laughing when I go to pick her up. They said she is adjusting well! And she is drinking her bottles like a pro! Such a huge difference in just a few weeks!

On the down side, Lilly is STILL fighting this horrible cold! She now has a terrible cough to go along with the snotty nose. We took her to the dr last night to get her checked out. Everything looked good, just a cold! I just needed some peace of mind and to make sure she was ok. Thank goodness for the after hours clinic! We are so ready to say goodbye to this cold!

Looking forward to our day off tomorrow! I plan on going through Lilly's clothes and putting her smaller outfits in storage (you know, in case we have another girl in the future!!) She will be 5 MONTHS OLD on Tuesday! I just can't believe it! She is so perfect in every way.

Back to Reality

Well I have decided to start a blog to document exciting things going on with Lilly Bug. I hope I can keep it up. I'm thinking this will be a new Sunday afternoon tradition for me while Lilly naps (in my arms of course!).

I made it through a whole week of teacher work days and Lilly made it through a week at daycare. She had her first cold this week so she stayed home with daddy on Monday. He took her temperature all by himself (those with babies know where the thermometer has to go...) and he did a great job! He is also the one that has to suck the boogies out of Lilly's nose. Mommy isn't so good at that. She had her first "sick" doctors visit Monday just to make sure it was just a cold. Her little red stuffy nose breaks our hearts. Of course we gave her lots of love and she gave us her cold in return.

Today was Lilly's dedication at church. Grandparents and friends were there to support Lilly and our promise to God to teach Lilly about the Lord and raise her in a Christian church. She got a little bible and cross and did a great job! Mike and I are very blessed to have found Memorial Baptist Church and we have met so many nice people. It feels good to be a part of a church again.

Tomorrow is the first day back to school for the kiddos and our daily routine will kick in with Mike taking Lilly to daycare and me speeding to go pick her up after work. I know daycare is good for Lilly and I'm glad we found a good one. Mike teases me by saying that if I stayed home with her I would hold and nurse her all day long :-) and that's probably the truth! Boy do we love us some Lilly Grace!!!