What's In a Name?

I realized today that I have a new name. I will be called this for the rest of my life. I've been hearing this name a lot over the past few months but it didn't really truly register with me until today. I was walking down the stairs with Lilly and she pointed to my bridal portrait on the wall and said it. 

Momma 

Yes baby girl. That is your momma! And boy has she changed since that picture was taken 4 years ago. But not in a bad way... She's changed in a way that all the other mommas out there can relate to. 

These are some reasons that I know I'm a MOMMA: 

All of my cute and sexy Victoria's Secret bras have been replaced with nursing bras for the time being. 

My outfit has to be "breastfeeding friendly" if we are going out and about. This gives the term "easy access" a whole new meaning. 

I secretly want to buy a minivan and fill it up with kids. 

I have the family stickers on the back of my car. And Mike had to talk me out of buying a "baby on board" sticker. But I'm so getting one when I get that minivan. 

Any purse I buy has to be big enough to carry diapers, wipes, butt cream, toys, books, snacks, extra onsies, shoes, sippy cups, a hat, sunscreen, and my wallet. That is one big purse. Sometimes I'm scared to reach all the way to the bottom. 

Ponytails. 

And when I do take the time to straighten and fix my hair, I feel extra cute! At least for the 15 min. before it's back up in a ponytail. 

I always have diaper cream stuck under my fingernails. 

I rock back and forth... Even when I'm not holding Lilly. 

You will hear a kids sing a-long cd blasting when you start my car. We love rocking out to our ABC's! 

I can do anything in the world using only one hand. This includes, but is not limited to, making the bed, washing bottles, dusting, feeding the dog, eating cereal, putting on makeup, sweeping the floor....

I am 100% totally aware of my surroundings at all times. 

If you see me wearing a hat it means I didn't have time to wash my hair. I might be wearing a lot of hats this summer. 

If I want to have an adult beverage I have to make sure the nursing queen isn't going to want a snack within the hour. Chances are, she probably will.. So I usually just take sips of Mikes. I'm sure he loves this. 

I've had to google things like "why is my baby's poop this color."

I pick her nose without thinking twice about it. 

I've had to say things like "Lilly, don't put your hands in the potty!!!" 

I've used baby wipes to wipe down my dashboard, kitchen counter, sinks, etc....

My belly button will never look the same.

I've painted my fingernails and plucked my eyebrows (or unibrow by the time I get to it) in my car while Lilly has napped in her carseat in the back. 

My friends know that if they text me after 8:00 I will not respond until the morning because I'm asleep. And they forgive me for texting them at 7 am when I just assume the whole worlds awake with us.

I love shopping for Lilly more than I love shopping for myself. 

I haven't kept up with the Kardashian's in over a year. 

And lastly, I know I'm a momma because my heart has grown three times its size. 

I am definitely not the same girl that's in that bridal portriat. I have changed and evolved into somebody else. Somebody that I am very proud to be. Lilly's Momma.  

Good Vibrations

Do random song lyrics ever pop into your head? Or do you ever hear a song that makes you think of a certain memory? We love music at our house and we sing songs all the time. Music makes everything better! Here is a list of songs that play in my mind on a daily basis. 

Sometimes Lilly doesn't like getting in her highchair (espically at a crowded resturant)... Cue the song "Aaaahhhhhh Freak out! Le Freak, C'est Chic"- Chic

Sometimes Lilly goes stiff as a board when getting in her car seat- "SOLID... Solid as a rock!"- Ashford and Simpson

Lilly loves her bath tub time- "Splish Splash I was taking a bath!"- Bobby Darin

Whenever Lilly sees stairs she wants to climb them over and over. I'm sure she sings this song in her head... And I'm sure she would love to try it without any help!- "Here I go Again on My Own!" -Whitesnake

Sometimes Lilly wakes up before I leave to go to work and this usually ends in tears (for both of us)- "Cry baby cry,

Make your mother sigh"- The Beatles

I hear this song when I change her diaper when she's not in a sitting still kinda mood- "I wanna rock and roll all night!!"- KISS

Picking her up from daycare.. My favorite time of the day!- "I Run to You!"- Lady Antebellum 

Riding in the car can go either way. - "Slow Ride, Take it Easy..."-Foghat. She's usually pretty chill on our trips. But sometimes it's more like "Highway to Hell" -ACDC

Time to nurse! -"If You're Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands!"

Lilly loves it when Daddy gets home from work! Or maybe this is the song Daddy sings!- "Get up, stand up, 

Come on throw your hands up

If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling... Jump Around, Jump Around, Jump Up Jump Up and Get Down.."- House of Pain

When she wakes up in the morning and I see that pretty face- "Pretty Little Angle Eyes..." -Curtis Lee

When we are having a meltdown- "You Can't Always Get What You Want"- The Rolling Stones

Lilly probably falls down 800 times a day... But she always gets right back up! - "Big Girls Don't Cry!"- Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

And this song sums up how I feel about Lilly growing up WAY to fast- "May God bless and keep you always 

May your wishes all come true

May you always do for others 

And let others do for you

May you build a ladder to the stars 

And climb on every rung

May you stay forever young

Forever young, forever young 

May you stay forever young." - Bob Dylan

Don't forget to dance to the music and ROCK ON!!' 

Silent Night

There is nothing sweeter than seeing Lilly asleep on her daddy as he carries her into the house. This is what I saw last night. Her face all tucked into his neck and his arms around her, as if he's holding on to that moment for dear life. And instead of putting her in the crib he gently laid her down in the middle of the bed where she slept all night. 

Our life is so busy right now. We travel here and there. We both have full time jobs. Mike is in grad school. And to top it all off our house is for sale. Trying to keep a house clean with a toddler is like trying to keep a snowflake off your car in the middle of a blizzard... IMPOSSIBLE! Everything I pick up and put away is pulled right back out. Lilly has a new fascination with pulling things out of cabnits and bags. Our dog is shedding so bad that I'm a millisecond away from having the worlds biggest anxiety attack and shaving him bald. I could literally vacuum the house 3 times a day and there would still be dog hair... Not to mention that there is no time to vacuum 3 times a day.. Or even 3 times a week.. Or dare I say 3 times a month!!! 

But we try our best to just go with it. Clean a little bit here and there. Let Lilly pull things out of the cabnits and destroy her room. Take her to the park instead of folding laundry. But it's still so easy to get wrapped up in all the hussle and bussle of every day life. So when we have a moment like last night, when everything is quiet and still, I try to take a deep breath and remember what is really important. And suddenly the laundry and tumbleweeds of dog hair that are floating around my house are a distant memory and my heart is overflowed with the love I have for my family (yes, even the dog). It's moments like that that bring me back to reality and destroys any little bit of anxiety I'm feeling. I have a beautiful and healthy daughter and a husband that loves us both. I am very very blessed.