I grew up in a Christian family and we attended church every Sunday. I was in the youth choir, played the handbells, and went to Sunday school and youth group. I was baptized when I was 10 years old. Every now and then I would complain about having to leave my cartoons and PJ's to go to Sunday school using the excuse "I have to go to school all week, why do I have to go to Sunday school?". My parents never gave in to this though and I did love church. After church we would have Sunday lunch at my grandparents house with all of my cousins and aunts and uncles. My parents were doing their part of planting the seed of Christ in me.
I graduated high school in 2003 and I was definitely living more for me than Christ at this stage in my life. I would pray but probably only when it was convenient for me. I received a bible from our church, just like all the graduates did, with a personalized note inside about always putting God first no matter what life had in store for me. That bible stayed tucked away in my drawer unopened for the next 8 years.
I still went to church when I came home on the weekends and I still prayed when I needed to, but that was about all I did. Oh, and I still considered myself a Christian.
I started hearing God talk to me around the time I got married. We definitely wanted God in our marriage and we decided to find a church to go to. I did start to pray that God would lead us to a church we both enjoyed. Many churches later and feeling like we might not find a good fit for us, we visited Memorial Baptist Church.
We only attended the late service and we always sat in the back. People started talking to us and one older lady of the church kept inviting us to check out the Sunday school class she taught for young adults. We kinda blew her off and slept in instead. We decided to join the church though and Mike joined the softball team that spring and shortly after that we found out I was pregnant. Then we really started sleeping in and slowly stopped going to church altogether. I'm sure there were excuses that made us feel better like "we better sleep now while we can". And then Lilly was born.
Looking at that newborn baby that I grew in my belly was one of the most amazing moments of my life. THE most amazing moment of my life. I knew that we needed to raise this child to be a child of God. That was very important to me. As soon as we felt comfortable taking Lilly out in large crowds we went back to church. I was too scared to leave her in the nursery (she hadn't even started daycare yet) so Mike and I took turns standing in the lobby with her if she was fussy. Mike made the decision to get baptized one Sunday and I don't think I've ever felt so proud of him. We had a baby dedication for Lilly as well. We felt like we were on the right track with our relationship with God, but it wasn't always easy getting up and making it to church with a baby, and so we were still casual church goers.
And then I lost my uncle.
This completely devastated my family. My Uncle Mike was such a huge part of our family. He had this contagious smile and laugh. He was silly. He loved kids. He was a good person.
I watched as the whole community of friends and family brought food and flowers and words of comfort. I asked myself how anybody could face the loss of a family member without God? I saw God through all of these people that came to comfort and grieve and laugh and share their favorite Mike stories. I watched my brothers cry. It was a hard time. I cried out to God to comfort us and help us through. That's when I started to see a change in my brother, Chad.
If you know Chad, then you know what I'm talking about. He became filled with Christ's love. It completely overtook his body. At a time where he could have easily turned his back on God, he welcomed him with open arms. And it was contagious. And that's when Mike and I decided to join that Sunday school class. We were craving Gods love. It's been there all along. We just had to let it in. 100% let it in.
God has spoken to me in two very specific ways since my Uncle passed away. Lilly last saw my Uncle Mike when she was 15 months old. We were recently looking at some pictures in a photo book and Lilly saw his picture, pointed to him, and said "Uncle Mike" clear as day. I'm not sure how she remembered him, but I like to think that she sees him in her dreams. I'm sure he's tossing her up in the air and catching her over and over.
The second time I felt God was last weekend. I was driving home to Sanford to visit my grandparents for the day and to see my parents new puppy. Lilly was in the back seat sleeping like she usually does on our trips home. I was just crossing the Lee County line and I switched the radio over to my favorite station... Oldies 105.5! "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" started playing and I immediately started thinking about my Uncle. I have a specific memory of him singing this song while I was riding in the back of his truck with my cousin. He loved oldies music. I said a prayer and when I looked up into the sky I saw a perfectly formed cross made by two jets that had crossed each other at that exact moment. I felt God. I felt him wrap his arms around me. There's no other way to explain it. That my friends is not a coincidence. That is God. That is awesome. God communicates with us in many different ways. We just have to listen. Are you listening? Now's as good a time as any.
We have now been attending Sunday school every week since January and we have a new seat closer to the front during the church service. Lilly knows that every Sunday we go to church. We have started reading devotionals during the week and sharing what we have learned with each other. We have been emitional and cried with each other. We are just scratching the surface and we have so much to learn and grow but i'm glad we are on this journey of faith together. Now I know that God shouldn't just be a part of our marriage, he should be the CENTER of our marriage. We went down front one Sunday to pray with the preacher and have committed our lives to Christ. Again.
And this time, there's no turning back.
