Baby Maybe?

Well.. It's here. Lilly's first birthday is in 3 days. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! This time last year I was 38 weeks pregnant and dreaded going to work and being on my fat pregnant feet. I was counting down the days until spring break so I could relax and get the house ready for our new roommate that was suppose to make her appearance April 16th. All of her clothes were washed and put away and I even had her hospital bag packed. Mike and I talked about what a huge baby hog I was going to be and we wondered what she would look like. How much would she weigh? Would she have hair? Well, we didn't have to wait too much longer to find out that she weighed 6 lbs 11 ounces and looked just like her daddy. I've learned so much this year.

There were a lot of questions and emotions that we had before we decided to try to have a baby. We went back and forth all summer long. Were we ready? Could we afford it? Would we be able to survive without sleeping in on the weekends? It is such a huge decision. I prayed about it. And then, ready or not, here she comes! These are a few things I would tell my pre-baby self:

Don't worry about money. If you wait until you can afford to have a child then you will NEVER have one (and having grandmas that buy the baby something every time they go shopping helps too!).

Sleep is overrated. You will be AMAZED at what you can do on little to no sleep. And those early Saturday mornings playing in the bed will be the best part of your day.

Enjoy chewing your food and taking your time at restaurants because once the baby gets here you will have to scarf it down in one huge bite... At least for a little while. :-)

You will find that buying things for your baby is so much more fun than buying things for yourself.

Don't register for or buy a bunch of bottles because your baby might be picky...

Baby bedding is super cute and it's something you feel like you have to buy but you won't use it.

What you think you know will completely change after having a baby. Never say never. (Ex: I will never let the baby sleep in the bed).

Always remember, momma knows best! Follow your mommy instincts.

Enjoy using the bathroom by yourself.

Don't worry...You will still have days where nobody gets out of their pj's.

And the most important thing to know is that there is nothing like it. It is a decision that you will never regret and a love like no other.

Don't Blink

Everybody told me not to, but I did.

I blinked.

I found out about you on August 5, 2011. I was ecstatic, nervous, overjoyed, and so blessed. Then I blinked.

We found out you were going to be a girl on November 9, 2011. A little girl that I could dress up with bows. A little girl that I could have tea parties with. A little girl that stole her daddy's heart. Then I blinked.

I felt kicks and hiccups and I swore you were living in my ribcage. My ankles were huge and my back hurt. I craved anything sweet or sour. I loved protecting you in my belly. We decided to name you Lillian Grace. Your daddy picked out that name. We decorated your nursery and washed all of your new tiny clothes. We took our
baby class so we would know what to do. We were so excited to meet you.. to hold you.. to kiss your sweet face. Then I blinked.

My water broke at 38 weeks at 3:00 am. We rushed to the hospital at 5 am and you were born 4 hours later. You needed a little oxygen after your journey into this world. Your daddy stood right beside you the whole time. He made sure you were ok. He didn't take his eyes off you. Then you got to lay on mommy's chest. You got to feel my heartbeat and I got to feel yours. I nursed you and let you sleep after your big day. I gave you enough kisses to last a lifetime. I prayed and thanked God for you. We passed you around to family and friends who had traveled to meet you. Then I blinked.

We brought you home and adjusted to our new life with you. We held you and bathed you and changed your diapers. We went on stroller rides and family vacations. You learned how to roll over and sit up. You started daycare and mommy went back to work. You slept in the middle of mommy and daddy and nursed all night long some nights but we didn't mind. We would do anything for you. You were safe and sound and loved very much. You hated your bottles and crib but you learned to like both. You were perfect to us in every way. You were our little Lilly Bug. Then I blinked.

Now you can pull up and cruise around the furniture. You scoot on your bottom and you even started crawling. You say so many sounds and wave bye bye and blow kisses. You can play patty cake and feed your baby doll her bottle. You have two bottom teeth and bright blue eyes. You are so smart in so many ways.

I blinked again and now you will be 1 year old in three weeks. This has been the fastest year of my life. A lot of your baby things have been moved to the attic to make room for your new big girl toys. You have brought so much joy into our hearts. We are so excited about our next year with you Lilly Grace. We promise to have patience and let you learn and explore. We promise to kiss your booboos and tickle your belly. We promise to love you unconditionally and keep you safe.

First we had each other, then we had you, and now we have everything. We love you sweet girl.

A person's a person, no matter how small."

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about having a healthy and happy child.

I just stumbled across a news article about a little girl that has an extremely rare disease that will eventually kill her. She is 9 months old. She is not expected to live past 1 year. There was a link to her mothers blog so I read through that as well. It left me in tears. But instead of going home and waiting they have made a bucket list for their daughter of all the fun things they want her to experience in her short little life. A trip to Disney World. Tea parties. A ride in a convertible! How incredible.

I physically and mentally cannot wrap my brain around what that must be like for their family. Now that I have a child of my own, stories like this affect me 10x more, because only after having a child could you understand how painful it would be to lose them.

So like I said, I am so very blessed to have this perfectly healthy and happy child. She is the reason why I am late for work every morning. She is the reason why I cannot wait to leave every afternoon. She is the reason why I don't bring work home. She is the reason why I sing kid songs in my head all day. She is the reason why I'm counting down the days until summer. She is the reason why I know how the greatest love in the world feels.

I finally laid her in her crib after she slept on my chest for a good hour...And as crazy as this sounds, I pray that she wakes up tonight so I can get in one extra cuddling session. I don't think I will ever look back at this time and say "I held that baby way to much." Nope!

"A person's a person, no matter how small." - Dr. Seuss

Below is a link to the news article and blog. Love your babies every chance you get!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/02/28/quinn-linzer-dying-9-month-old-bucket-list_n_2783310.html