20 Pounds Lighter

Holy moly, life has been SO busy. I miss my summer days of staying in the bed, cuddling with the girls, and not having a schedule. Ever since school has started back I feel rushed from the moment I wake up to the moment I put my head back down to go to sleep. Putting Madelyn in daycare at 2 months old almost killed me. I feel so guilty and sad that I'm away from her for the majority of the day. I've had some pity parties for sure. 

Our daily routine looks a little like this: Wake up at 5:30, nurse Madelyn, get myself ready, go downstairs and pack my lunch, bottles, and school bag, wake Lilly up and get her ready while Mike dresses Madelyn, nurse her one more time, get both girls in the car and off to daycare by 7:30, go to work, pump at 9:00, 11:45 while I scarf my food down, and 2:45 after the kids leave, plan and prepare for the next day, pick the girls up by 4:30, head home, wash bottles and pump parts, label and make bottles for the next day, give Lilly a snack, nurse some more, take baths and showers, eat supper, get ready for bed, nurse one last time and then crash. On Tuesday Lilly has ballet and then choir and mission friends at church on Wednesday. We also need to find a house so my parents don't think we are trying to hang out upstairs forever. I. LIVE. FOR. THE. WEEKEND. 

Needless to say, I feel like my head is barely above water. I know it will get easier. The beginning of school is always super busy. Things are starting to slow down a bit and I'm not having to stay as late. I get so much anxiety trying to rush and finish things up at work so I can go get them. 

Another pity party I've been having is about my appearance. I'm still about 20 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. It is not coming off as easily as it did with Lilly, but I also didn't gain as much with Lilly. I'm wearing all of my moms clothes that she had stored in the attic because my pants won't come over these American thighs. I miss my beautiful pregnancy skin, hair, and fingernails. Working out is a joke since I don't have the time or energy. I know that I'm only 3 months out but dangggggggg I'm struggling with this at the moment. 

So when Mike asked me what I wanted to do for my 30th birthday I told him I just wanted to get away and have a nice weekend with our girls. We stayed at his parents beach place for the weekend. The weather was beautiful and didn't rain at all. We spent time on the beach Friday and Lilly had a blast. There is something about watching your child have a carefree fun time that just soothes your soul. I felt like I could breathe. No bottles to wash or papers to grade. We woke up Saturday and went out for breakfast. Then we went to the park and fed the ducks before doing some shopping. Everybody got some new clothes and Lilly even got a princess sleeping bag. We took naps. I repeat. We ALL took naps. We walked down the road and ate a ton of crab legs and shrimp. We got ice cream. And we ended our night with a nice walk on the beach, which turned into playing in the tide pool, which ended in Lilly stripping down into her underwear.

 

It was just what I needed. It was perfect. I have been so incredibly blessed with two healthy and happy little girls and a husband that loves to take care of us.  

And just like that, I feel 20 lbs lighter. 

Nap Time Shenanigans

There are several things I think I'm pretty darn good at when it comes to parenting. Getting Lilly to take a nap is not one of them. And when Princess Lilly doesn't nap she turns into a Queen. 

Nap time at our house has 3 stages. 

Stage 1- I like to compare this stage to stage 1 of labor, which is the longest and most painful stage. 

"Lilly, it's time to take a nap" 

"I don't want to take a nap" 

"If you take a nap I'll give you a Popsicle when you wake up" (don't judge me) 

"Ok mommy" 

We go upstairs and lie down. Lilly proceeds to tell me she has to go potty, she needs another blanket, she needs to take her dress off, she needs to put her shoes in the closet, etc. She basically comes up with ANY excuse NOT to lie down. I do a lot of threatening in stage 1. 

"Lilly if you don't sit down you don't get your Popsicle" 

"Do I need to leave so you have to nap by yourself?" 

"If you don't get still now I'm going to eat all of the Popsicles" 

Don't judge me... 

After a few minutes of this, Lilly finally sits down on the bed. She then proceeds to roll around, cuddle me, play with my hair, poke my forehead, rub my eyebrows, play with my eyelashes, rub my cheeks, put her finger in my ear, etc. 

After she gets bored with that she moves on to her whispering. This is the part where she whispers crazy stuff. Most of the time I don't understand anything she's saying but sometimes I will catch a few phrases like: 

"You're so nice mommy" 

"I like candy" 

"Today is Saturday" 

"I'm a girl" 

I have no idea what she's talking about. I close my eyes and try not to laugh. The good news is that stage 1 of nap time shenanigans is almost over. 

Stage 2- This stage is when Lilly gets very still and appears to be staring off into space. She doesn't move.. she doesn't talk or whisper... she just stares at the ceiling. It is very important that I don't move during stage 2 or we can end up back at stage 1 real fast. 

Stage 3- This stage is very important and can end several ways. 

Scenario 1- Lilly falls asleep! Score!!!! 

Scenario 2- Lilly falls asleep but I get up to soon and she wakes back up... Fail! 

Scenario 3- Her daddy walks in or Madelyn cries and we are right back at stage 1. 

Scenario 4- I fall asleep and wake up an hour later to Lilly eating marshmallows and playing on the iPad. I didn't even know we had marshmallows in the house. 

Stage 4- Lilly either wakes up from her much needed nap or I say screw it, there is always tomorrow, and we enjoy a Popsicle on the back porch. 

Don't judge me. 

I'm a Good Teacher, and I Still Need Help

In case you haven't heard, the new Senate plan wants to cut teacher assistants. 

This happens every year, leaving TA's wondering if they will have a job. The budget never gets passed until the very last possible second. 

But this time it seems a little more serious... 

Cut funding for TA's by 80% and make smaller class sizes for teachers.... Because some study from the 1980's said that TA's basically don't make a difference in student performance... 

Yeah.. Let's look at a study from the 1980's because school is exactly the same now as it was 30 years ago... 

So, I'm just going to share what my fabulous TA did during the 2014-2015 school year. 

Last year was my 7th year teaching 2nd second grade, but my first year in Lee County at Deep River Elementary. My past 6 years were spent in Pitt County at Grifton School. I have always had a TA for at least 2 hours per day but you can imagine my excitement when I found out I would have one almost the entire school day at Deep River. 

Let's just start from the first work days leading up to open house. My TA helped set up our classroom. She organized all of my books, laminated, moved furniture, filed papers, fixed bulletin boards, and showed me the ropes since I was new. Without her help there is no way my room or myself would have been ready for that oh so important first day of school. But this is nothing compared to what she did during the school year: 

Monitored the hallway/bathroom during morning duty, checked my box, put in the lunch count, checked folders, turned in notes from parents, turned in lunch money, recipted money for fundraisers and what not, checked homework, and helped a child with morning work. This all happened within the first 30 minutes of school. 30 minutes that I got to spend teaching! 

Let's continue: 

Assist with math by helping students with questions and helping students stay focused. Sitting with that one student and giving him one-on-one assistance because he so desperately needed it... Something I cannot do with 20 other students that need me too. Teaching a small math group during math centers (Have you read any studies about small group instruction? Because that can't happen as effectively without a TA). She also has a small reading group during our reading rotations where they practice short passages, questions, grammar, and comprehension. Praise the lord!! Now I can focus on other extremely important skills in my small group. 

Wait, a kid just got sick. She takes him to the nurse. She gets the janitor to come clean it up or SHE CLEANS IT UP HERSELF. 

A kid had a bathroom accident. She takes him to get new clothes without embarrassing him in front of the class. 

A kid had a nose bleed. She takes care of it AND writes a note to let her mother know.

A kid doesn't have shoe strings to keep his shoes on... She BUYS him some with her own money. 

A kid has an asthma attack. A kid needs to go take their medicine. A kid has a complete meltdown. The list is never ending. 

She does all of this so I can continue teaching without missing a beat. Can you imagine having to stop the entire lesson to help these students. I've had to do it several times when I didn't have a TA the majority of the day. And these things happen very often believe it or not. The time spent handling these situations adds up pretty fast. 

It's not even lunch time... 

She is pulled to go sub for another class who couldn't find a sub in time. She has even subbed for our class because my 3 year old woke up at 4 am with a fever and I couldn't find a sub in time. 

She takes the kids to the bathroom and to their resource classes so the teachers can start planning for the next week without wasting any precious time. She makes copies, files papers, displays student work, cleans desks, and STILL asks me if there is anything she can do for me. I don't think I've seen her sit down one time or take a break. 

We take the kids to lunch and she helps serve their food, get them through the line and seated, and cleans up the tray of food that was dropped on the floor. She stays in the cafeteria to monitor the students so I can have a duty free lunch. She cleans up, sweeps, wipes down all the tables, and lines up the students to get ready for the next round of kids coming to eat. She stays and does the exact same thing for them so those teachers can have duty free lunch too. 

She uses flash cards one-on-one with the kid that speaks no English at all. She gives the spelling test to the kid that was absent. She takes the class outside for recess so I can have more planning time. She helps us get packed up at the end of the day and then she leaves to DRIVE A BUS and gets our sweet babies home safely. 

And all of this happens on a good day. 

But wait! There's more!! She helps with testing (quarterly test, MClass, EOG's...) How in the world would we ever survive without our TA's!? There is no way I could do all of this and still have the time and energy to plan lessons that are rigorous and engaging. I would grow to hate my job. I would start to wonder why I even do this at all. There will still be all that I listed above with smaller class sizes. And where are all of these new teachers going to come from and where are we going to put them? We have no room as it is. North Carolina is a joke when it comes to teacher pay. What is your plan for that? 

I KNOW that my TA makes a difference in my classroom, our school, and the lives of our students. Don't use a study from the 1980's. Go visit schools. Go sit in a classroom. And most importantly, ASK US. 

Sincerely, 

A very aggravated teacher. 

A Sister is Both Your Mirror, and Your Opposite

Friday marks the 6th week since Madelyn arrived into the world and stole our hearts. Somebody once told me that if you can make it through the first six weeks then you're golden. This is very true. It has taken me about six weeks to figure her out and learn her little cries and little schedule (which is sure to change again and again). 

While we were at the hospital Madelyn didn't make a peep and didn't mind being laid down (complete opposite of Lilly). I had to wake her to feed her every two hours (complete opposite of Lilly). She only pooped about once a day (complete opposite of Lilly). When we got home she stayed really quiet and chill for about another week or two, which was great because Lilly needed LOTS of attention. I texted a friend and asked her when this baby was going to wake up and start crying. 

Around week 3 Madelyn discovered that she had lungs and could use those lungs to get milk immediately. We were at the beach during this time. I basically wore my nursing tank the whole time and fed her. This is also when I started to notice how uncomfortable she felt, especially at night. She would have one good night mixed in with a bunch of bad ones (good night for a newborn means waking every 2-3 hours... Bad night was when she would wake up and not be able to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep).

We gave her gas drops because she was so gassy at night. I totally thought that was the big issue. 

Once we got home from the beach it continued to get worse. My last blog was about finding out she had silent reflux. Since then she has done so much better and seems way more comfortable at night now. But I still felt like something was off. She made this loud clicking sound when she nursed and was still having a hard time latching and would pop on and off. 

I had heard some things about tongue and lip tie. I didn't really know how to check for that but a sweet friend in our Sunday school class did. She gave me a lot of advice and went to the nursery to have a look at Madelyn. She was asleep so it was hard to see but she said it could possibly be tongue tie and it definitely wouldn't hurt to get her checked out again. 

The next day I called her pediatrician and the lactation consultant at the hospital. The pediatrician told me to go see the LC first and then go from there. If it is tongue tie then they refer you to the ENT. So I loaded up Madelyn, Lilly, and my niece and went to the hospital. 

The first thing the LC did was weigh Madelyn. 8 lbs 10 oz!!! 8 oz more than a week ago. She checked her mouth and her tongue came way out over her bottom lip which is a great sign. Tongue tie makes it tight so they can't bring it out very far. Then she watched Madelyn nurse to make sure her tongue was in the right position, and it was! The problem was that her bottom lip was tucked under instead of out and she was getting more air that way. She showed me how to help her practice getting that lip out (stroke her tongue with my finger and pull that lip down a few times before I nurse her). After we practiced a little bit that loud clicking sound stopped but she said some babies are loud nursers. She also said to stop and burp her if she popped off while nursing (something I never had to do with Lilly). When she weighed her again she was 8 lbs 12 1/2 oz! 

I felt so relieved. It's just so funny to me because Lilly was the perfect nurser from day one and Madelyn and I have had to work at it a little more. I never thought I would have to go see a LC with my 2nd baby... I should be a pro at this right!? Not even close... and that's ok. Just goes to show you that every baby is different. 

Madelyn slept 5 hours straight that night. I love this baby. 

In Lilly news, she is really starting to love her sister. She likes to show her off and give her kisses. She has started to tune her out if she starts crying. She fussed at her in the car the other day and told her to be quiet because she couldn't hear her music. Just the beginning of back seat fussing I'm sure. I can't wait to watch them grow and bond as sisters. I think they are going to be complete opposites. :) 

 

Up All Night

Madelyn is officially 1 month old. She has done a lot in her first month here with us! 

We spent 9 days at the beach with both of our families. Lilly had a blast. It was so great to see her have so much fun. Madelyn even made it out to the beach for about 30 minutes. We just sat under the umbrella and she seemed to really enjoy the ocean breeze. She also got a few bottles while I spent some time with Lilly on the beach and playing putt putt. She did good with the bottles so hopefully she won't hate them like her sister did. In other news, I still hate pumping but I got this super awesome pump for free through my insurance! 

My niece Lindsay has also started coming over everyday to play with Lilly. She is a HUGE help. Lilly is obsessed with her and has a blast. She has also adjusted so much more to having a baby around the house. We all survived! YaY!

Madelyn has also enjoyed going to gymnastics with her sister, chick-fil-a, the lake, and other places around town. She does pretty well in the car and usually falls asleep. She does not really like a paci, just like Lilly, so if she does get fussy in the car we head for home! 

The biggest news to report is that we found out Madelyn has silent reflux. A few weeks ago she started showing some signs: coughing, gagging/choking after nursing, grunting, kicking her legs and arms out of discomfort, frequent hiccups, and having a hard time laying flat. It wasn't as obvious during the day because I held her a lot but it was very obvious at night. It got to the point where she would have a good stretch of sleep from about 9-12 and then after that she would not settle back down. I would nurse her and try to lay her back down and she would immediately start grunting and kicking, gagging, and every now and then she would spit up. I would have to hold her upright for the rest of the night. I knew something was off. She seemed like she was in pain. I took her in yesterday and the doctor agreed that she had silent reflux. The "silent" part comes in because she doesn't spit up excessively or cry so it's harder to figure out what's going on. Her weight gain has been fantastic! She now weighs 8 lbs 2 oz! She loves her milk, that's for sure! 

Madelyn now has to take Zantac twice a day. She had her first dose last night and she did SO much better. She woke up at 12, 2, and 4, nursed for a few minutes, and then went right back to sleep. No grunting or kicking or gagging. I feel so refreshed!! I hope she continues to stay pain free. Praise the lord for medicine and mommy instincts. 

The Adventures of Lilly and Maddie Lou

Holy moly this is so much easier the second time around but holy moly this is so hard with a toddler. I don't feel nearly as exhausted as I remember feeling with Lilly. Breastfeeding is going awesome. Everything feels very laid back with this baby. I'm not nearly as sore and I don't have that "how do we keep a baby alive" anxiety. 

On the other hand, it is going to take a while for Lilly to adjust to this. 

We got home Sunday night around 6:30. My mom had supper ready (and it wasn't hospital food!). Lilly was asleep so we all ate and I took a nice hot shower. Lilly woke up around 8 and was very cranky/confused/happy to see we were home. We went upstairs and I laid in bed with her until she fell back asleep. She wanted me to hold her and I wanted to hold her too. I snuck out of her bed and she snuck into ours around 4 am. For those of you that don't know, Lilly does not like to sleep by herself... ever... which was fine... until now... 

We had to take Madelyn to her first doctors appointment Monday morning. Everybody got ready and into the car right on time. That was pretty easy (yay!). Lilly was being a little "off" but she did pretty good. Madelyn checked out perfect. She even pooped all over Mike's shirt. She was only down 3oz. After our appointment we picked up our lunch from Miss Lacy's (thank you Faye!) and went home. This is when Lilly meltdown #1 happened. Mike took her with him to the grocery store and I took a nap with Madelyn. The rest of the afternoon was filled with Lilly meltdowns. I could tell she was just so confused and unsure of everything going on. It was hard. Our saving grace was that she had gymnastics at 6:00. Her G-Ma and aunts took her for us. She was so excited to go and I was happy to see her happy. Mike slept with her Monday night and she seemed totally fine with that. 

Tuesday was WAY better. Lilly was much calmer and content. We played in the basement and watched several movies... I felt like I might be able to do this after all. Liz came over to visit and then Cole came to play so she was very distracted and didn't have time to think about baby and I. Bedtime was a different story. She had not napped all day and was exhausted. She cried and cried for me to lay with her. I did until she fell asleep. 

Today was an ok day but I can feel myself getting a little emotional. That big hormonal drop is coming. Lilly was pretty clingy this morning. I can tell that she loves her little sister and she hugs and kisses on her but at the same time she's jealous over somebody else in her mommy's arms and she doesn't know how to express these feelings. Her Aunt Melisssa came over and played with her and Mike in the basement while I napped upstairs with Madelyn. It was a huge help. While I was upstairs I realized that I haven't brushed Lilly's teeth since Monday (maybe Sunday... I can't remember...). I am going to have to get into a routine before Mike goes back to work. Right now I am feeling scared about being at home with both of them without Mike. I hope Lilly gets enough attention and loved on and that I have lots of patience. I'm thinking about making a sticker chart for Lilly to check off our daily duties, like brushing teeth. I guess the chart would be more for me though :) So here goes nothing! Some days are going to be crazy hard and some days will be a little easier. I'm just going to love on my two girls as much as possible. 

Madelyn Louise Stec

June 1st

Woke up this morning at 4am with contractions. I could actually time these! They were about 10-15 minutes apart and lasted 1-2 minutes each time. They were not too painful, just uncomfortable. I got up around 5:30 and got some water and told Mike. When I laid back down the pain had moved to my back. I fell back asleep and woke up around 7 with pain but the coming and going contractions had stopped. 

At this point I had no idea what was going on. I had to google "how to time contractions". Lilly's labor went like this: no pain, wake up to pee at 3am, get bad cramp, water breaks all in the bed, contractions every 2 minutes (like stop you in your tracks contractions), hospital at 5, pushing at 6, baby at 8:47 am. So these little contractions that I'm feeling today are confusing the heck out of me. 

Mike and I went on an hour long walk around the neighborhood around 8:30. I was in pain the whole time, but not bad pain. I took a shower and called the midwife when I got in. After sitting down everything just kind of stopped. Midwife said real labor doesn't stop. I was starting to feel incredibly bummed out. We went and ate lunch and walked around for another hour or so. Pain came back while I was walking and was a little bit more intense. We came home and I took a nap and the pain was pretty much gone when I woke up. 

 

This explains my mood at that point. I was so ready for the real mind numbing painful contractions. I wanted to feel some real labor so bad. But this baby is going to do what she wants and I've had to pray for patience, like a lot. And also focus on the positives, like getting to take Lilly to her first gymnastics class. It was precious. And spending a day with Mike. That hasn't happened in a while, just the two of us, and it was wonderful. I love my time with him. 

June 3rd 

Woke up at 3am to a pretty painful contraction. I actually had to breath some with this one. I had about 4 more over the next hour but then it fizzled. I finally fell back asleep just in time for my alarm to go off. Oh joy. Having some pains at school but nothing consistent. I can't wait to go home and take a nap. Madelyn is still moving around really well so that is a good thing. I go to the doctors tomorrow so hopefully I have progressed some. Still praying for patience. I'm just so ready to meet this baby. 

June 4th

I got a good nights sleep last night and woke up feeling refreshed. I went to the doctors at 3:15. There was no real change... Still 2 cm and about 80% effaced but baby is very healthy and still moving around really well so that's great! I'm starting to think that this labor is going to be very different. It's weird but I feel more calm now about everything. Madelyn is going to come when she's ready, and that might mean 40 weeks, and that's ok. I'm not completely miserable and I can make it a few more weeks. 

June 7th

Yep.. Still pregnant. But I keep reminding myself that my due date is the 17th. 10 days away. I think I can do this for 10ish more days. I miss my ankles and my skinny face. And it is HOT. So hot. So so hot. I'm still having irregular contractions everyday. There is only 2 1/2 more days of school. We might need to have a dance party tomorrow so I can shake this baby out. :) 

Yes... This is it in all its glory. Veins everywhere. Super tight. Super big. Super excited for her to get out of there. 

June 10

I made it to the last day of school. I can't believe it! But I'm glad I got to see my babies off to third grade. I'm 39 weeks.. Due date is a week away. I go to the doctor tomorrow for another checkup. Currently feeling very excited to hold this sweet baby. Any day now!!! 

June 12th

Here we go! This part of the story is a little TMI :) We had a baby today. A perfect baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes and a head full of dark hair. It's almost midnight and we are currently nursing so I'm going to write all the crazy details down while I'm awake. 

Mike stayed home with me today. I did a bunch of nesting stuff like laundry and we ran some errands around town. Contractions were very sporadic, just like they had been, but a little more painful. We picked Lilly up from her last day of daycare for the summer around 2:30. Mike met his friend Brandon and ordered me some takeout around 4:00. Around 4:30 I started having contractions closer together but I could still talk and breathe through them. My mom came home and I took a shower. They started to pick up . I told Mike to hurry home. I went downstairs and folded clothes and then brought them upstairs to put them away. I was doing anything to stay busy. Then I dried my hair. This is when the "hospital time" contractions started. I went downstairs and told everybody that it was time to leave. Mike had our food. He grabbed the bags and we left ASAP. I had crazy awful painful contractions the whole way to the hospital. They were about 2 minutes apart. We told them to get me to a room ASAP. It was 6:00 pm. I was 7 cm dilated. They started the IV for my antibiotic (I was strep b positive this time). The contractions were still about 1-2 minutes apart and I wanted to die. DIE. I was screaming "epidural" inside my head but I knew I could do it again. They were way more painful than I remember with Lilly. I think I even screamed some out loud ... I knew I wouldn't be able to push for 3 hours like I did with Lilly. 

This baby didn't even let me push for 3 minutes. After I barfed, pooped, and peed myself (yes it happened) I felt a ton of pressure. I told the nurse that I felt like pushing. The feeling got way more intense. They got the midwife in there and BAM!! I pushed about 5 big times and there she was... 35 minutes after getting to the hospital and I was holding my baby. I cried and cried. It was a beautiful moment. 

My water did not break with this baby and she was actually born still in the amniotic sac. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. Apparently this doesn't happen very often. The nurse had never seen a birth like that and the midwife had only seen a few. My placenta was also very unique... It was pretty much like I had two placentas in there that were connected. This baby is one of a kind! She weighs 6 lbs 5 oz and is 19 1/2 inches long. And she has hair!!! 

Since Madelyn was born 35 minutes after we got to the hospital I didn't have time to get the strep b antibiotic in me. This is something I stressed about while I was pregnant. The midwife assured me that she would be fine (only 1 out of 200 babies will get sick if they don't get the antibiotic in time). We have to stay for 48 hours to monitor her just in case. I'm not really worried but I do hope everything will be ok. 

After Madelyn was born we had skin to skin time for a good hour. I nursed her and kissed her. It was the best hour of my life. Lilly came up to meet her and held her hand and kissed her. Now she's all cleaned up and we are moved in to our new room for the next few days. I'm not feeling as sore this time, mostly because I didn't have to push for 3 hours. We are still in complete shock. I thought she might come fast but I never thought it would be that fast. Her new nickname is Speedy Gonzalez. 

 

We are so in love with her! 

Sisters