Terrific Twos

We officially have a two year old folks! Your life is very busy with two year olds so I haven't had time to write a blog recently. We have been playing with all of her new birthday toys and watching Frozen (over, and over, and over....) I sing the songs just as much as Lilly does (I'm sure Mike just absolutely loves this!) :) 

The morning of Lilly's birthday I found myself anxiously watching the clock. I kept telling her what mommy was doing at that exact moment 2 years ago. And then it finally reached 8:47 am and Lilly was officially two!! Wow!! That happened super fast! 

She had a wonderful party and her best friend Emma came all the way from Greenville so that was very very special. First Baptist was an awesome place to have a party. There were tons of toys for them to play with and they ran all over the gym. Perfect for two year olds that don't sit still, ever! :)  

So two has been awesome so far! Our little busy bee is talking up a storm, loves to pretend play with her babydolls (she calls every babydoll Ella Charles), loves her Disney movies, and LOVES to play outside. She gets cutier by the second and she is absolutely hilarious. We are just really enjoying life right now with our Lilly Bug. And even though we don't go out to dinner much and spend most of our time chasing her all over the place, two is terrific! 

Bye Bye Baby

Welp... It's the end of an era folks. Lilly hasn't nursed since Friday morning. I knew this day would come, and I knew it was right around the corner, but this mommy is experiencing all kinds of emotions right now. 

Excited: I'm excited for all of the new ways Lilly and I can bond. She's finally letting me put her hair in pigtails. I can't wait to braid her long hair and play beauty salon, and all of the other fun girlie stuff we can do! 

Scared: I'm so scared my "almost" 2 year old busy body will not cuddle with me as much as we did while nursing. It's how we started our mornings and ended our days. I'll still demand she gives me 15 minutes of cuddle time or I'm going to throw a huge tantrum...

Sad: I'm definitely feeling this emotion big time. When I nursed her Friday morning I remember telling myself that would probably be the last time I nurse her. She wasn't nursing much anymore and she was going to be with my parents on Saturday so I had already decided to take advantage of that situation and start weaning her. I was going to let her nurse if she threw a huge fit about it but she hasn't done that so I know we are officially done. She has still asked a few times but quickly forgets. I told her they were broken. That part is breaking my heart, but I'm hoping she will stop asking in a few more days. 

Hopeful: I am hopeful that I will figure out how to soothe and comfort Lilly in other ways now. I'm sure I will figure it out, but nursing was always our go to when she needed a little extra loving and cuddles. 

Proud: Gosh I am so proud. Proud of myself. Proud of my husband. Proud of my Lilly Bug. I never in a billion years thought I would nurse her past a year. But she showed no interest in stopping and I enjoyed our time so much, not to mention all of the healthy benefits she still received from nursing. She made nursing easy right from the beginning and I am very lucky we never had many struggles. It might not have been easy at times, but it has been worth it. 

Surprised: I can't believe how big Lilly looks to me now that I have my nursing goggles off. Um, she's a toddler!!!! How did this happen!?!? She says sentences. SENTENCES. Like "I want some milk" or "lay down mommy" or "I want a pickle please". But in all seriousness, my little baby is a baby no more. She is a free spirited, blue eyed, blonde haired, stubborn, hilarious, sweet, and energetic 23 month old little girl who will be 2 exactly one month from today. She has made our lives so full of joy and laughter and I love her more than words can say... and she will always be my little peanut. 

*to those mommies who reached out to me over the past two years with nursing questions, I am beyond flattered and proud of you too. I hope your nursing journey, wether long or short, was just as special to you as ours was to me. 

God is so BIG

God is doing big things in my life right now, and also in the lives of many people I know. I've been thinking about this blog and what to say and how to say it. I feel like God is telling me to share this so I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out. 

I grew up in a Christian family and we attended church every Sunday. I was in the youth choir, played the handbells, and went to Sunday school and youth group. I was baptized when I was 10 years old. Every now and then I would complain about having to leave my cartoons and PJ's to go to Sunday school using the excuse "I have to go to school all week, why do I have to go to Sunday school?". My parents never gave in to this though and I did love church. After church we would have Sunday lunch at my grandparents house with all of my cousins and aunts and uncles. My parents were doing their part of planting the seed of Christ in me. 

I graduated high school in 2003 and I was definitely living more for me than Christ at this stage in my life. I would pray but probably only when it was convenient for me. I received a bible from our church, just like all the graduates did, with a personalized note inside about always putting God first no matter what life had in store for me. That bible stayed tucked away in my drawer unopened for the next 8 years. 

I still went to church when I came home on the weekends and I still prayed when I needed to, but that was about all I did. Oh, and I still considered myself a Christian. 

I started hearing God talk to me around the time I got married. We definitely wanted God in our marriage and we decided to find a church to go to. I did start to pray that God would lead us to a church we both enjoyed. Many churches later and feeling like we might not find a good fit for us, we visited Memorial Baptist Church. 

We only attended the late service and we always sat in the back. People started talking to us and one older lady of the church kept inviting us to check out the Sunday school class she taught for young adults. We kinda blew her off and slept in instead. We decided to join the church though and Mike joined the softball team that spring and shortly after that we found out I was pregnant. Then we really started sleeping in and slowly stopped going to church altogether. I'm sure there were excuses that made us feel better like "we better sleep now while we can". And then Lilly was born.

Looking at that newborn baby that I grew in my belly was one of the most amazing moments of my life. THE most amazing moment of my life. I knew that we needed to raise this child to be a child of God. That was very important to me. As soon as we felt comfortable taking Lilly out in large crowds we went back to church. I was too scared to leave her in the nursery (she hadn't even started daycare yet) so Mike and I took turns standing in the lobby with her if she was fussy. Mike made the decision to get baptized one Sunday and I don't think I've ever felt so proud of him. We had a baby dedication for Lilly as well. We felt like we were on the right track with our relationship with God, but it wasn't always easy getting up and making it to church with a baby, and so we were still casual church goers. 

And then I lost my uncle. 

This completely devastated my family. My Uncle Mike was such a huge part of our family. He had this contagious smile and laugh. He was silly. He loved kids. He was a good person. 

I watched as the whole community of friends and family brought food and flowers and words of comfort. I asked myself how anybody could face the loss of a family member without God? I saw God through all of these people that came to comfort and grieve and laugh and share their favorite Mike stories. I watched my brothers cry. It was a hard time. I cried out to God to comfort us and help us through. That's when I started to see a change in my brother, Chad. 

If you know Chad, then you know what I'm talking about. He became filled with Christ's love. It completely overtook his body. At a time where he could have easily turned his back on God, he welcomed him with open arms. And it was contagious. And that's when Mike and I decided to join that Sunday school class. We were craving Gods love. It's been there all along. We just had to let it in. 100% let it in. 

God has spoken to me in two very specific ways since my Uncle passed away. Lilly last saw my Uncle Mike when she was 15 months old. We were recently looking at some pictures in a photo book and Lilly saw his picture, pointed to him, and said "Uncle Mike" clear as day. I'm not sure how she remembered him, but I like to think that she sees him in her dreams. I'm sure he's tossing her up in the air and catching her over and over. 

The second time I felt God was last weekend. I was driving home to Sanford to visit my grandparents for the day and to see my parents new puppy. Lilly was in the back seat sleeping like she usually does on our trips home. I was just crossing the Lee County line and I switched the radio over to my favorite station... Oldies 105.5! "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" started playing and I immediately started thinking about my Uncle. I have a specific memory of him singing this song while I was riding in the back of his truck with my cousin. He loved oldies music. I said a prayer and when I looked up into the sky I saw a perfectly formed cross made by two jets that had crossed each other at that exact moment. I felt God. I felt him wrap his arms around me. There's no other way to explain it. That my friends is not a coincidence. That is God. That is awesome. God communicates with us in many different ways. We just have to listen. Are you listening? Now's as good a time as any.

We have now been attending Sunday school every week since January and we have a new seat closer to the front during the church service. Lilly knows that every Sunday we go to church. We have started reading devotionals during the week and sharing what we have learned with each other. We have been emitional and cried with each other. We are just scratching the surface and we have so much to learn and grow but i'm glad we are on this journey of faith together. Now I know that God shouldn't just be a part of our marriage, he should be the CENTER of our marriage. We went down front one Sunday to pray with the preacher and have committed our lives to Christ. Again. 

And this time, there's no turning back. 

"Where was the Teacher?"

I was scrolling through Facebook after a particularly trying day at work one afternoon while Lilly ate her afternoon snack. I came across a post about something that had happened to a kid at school and my curiosity got the best of me so I decided to read through the comments... And there it was... A comment from a parent that said "Where was the teacher!?". 

Maybe it was because my day had been spent doing everything possible to make sure my students were safe and protected.. Oh yeah, and learning something... Or maybe it was just because I am a teacher... But whatever the reason, that comment irked me to my core. TO. MY. CORE. I wanted so badly to write some really sophisticated response to her comment but I decided to move on. But here I sit with that comment still on my mind like it was directed right to me! But in a way it was! It was directed at ALL teachers. If only these people would spend an hour in a classroom (or even volunteer a day!!!) I guarantee you that comment would never be made again. So, let me just answer your question as to where the teacher was. 

1. They were giving one of the thousands of assessments the state makes us do, either whole group or one on one. Don't believe me? Ask a third grade teacher specifically to fill you in...

2. A child was throwing up. 

3. A child had a nose bleed. 

4. A child had a bathroom accident. 

5. A child needed their inhaler or epi pen (yes teachers administer those) or other form of medication. 

6. They were on the phone with a child's parent because of the above reasons, or because their child was misbehaving, or because their child needed lunch money, or because their child said their Uncle Rico was picking them up today and you have no idea who Uncle Rico is. 

6. All of their time and energy was focused on that one student who didn't take their medicine that day. 

7. They turned their back for one second to write something on the board. FYI teachers really don't have eyes in the back of their heads.. Shhhh... Don't tell the students. 

8. They were hugging the child that was crying about their pet goldfish that had died, or about their daddy being in jail, or about being hungry because they didn't have dinner the night before. 

9. They were talking a student into putting down the gun they had in their hands. Don't believe me? Ask John Masterson, a middle school teacher at a school in New Mexico. 

10. They were TEACHING. 

Please don't automatically assume that the teacher was doing anything short of their job the next time you see or hear a comment like that. The teacher cannot control every single thing that a child chooses to do and they cannot stop every single action before it happens. Lets hold the child accountable for his or her bad choice. And please, now more so than ever, SUPPORT teachers. Pray for them. Somedays we need hugs too. 

2013- A Year to Remember

As we reach the end of another year, I cant help but reflect on all of the many things Lilly has accomplished and experienced this year. I'm going to let her tell you all about it! 

I turned 9 months old last January. I learned how to pull up and one morning my mommy found me standing up in my crib! I made her scream with excitement. My favorite mode of transportation was to scoot around on my bottom... Crawling is for the birds ya know. I started saying words like baby, ball, dada, momma, and buck buck. My parents are always telling me how smart I am. I turned 1 in April and we had a big party just for me!! Only I wasn't feeling that well because I had my first ear infection. I threw my cupcake on the floor. Mom says that will make a great story to share when I get older. A few weeks later I took my first steps. My mom cried! Sheesh mom. It didn't take me long to start walking all over the place. We took a trip to the lake and we found out that I was going to have a new baby cousin! School got out and I got to stay home with my mom all summer! We built forts and went to the park. I got my first pair of crocks. We took some trips. My favorite trip was the beach. I got to spend a whole week with my cousins! And I went on my first boat ride. Mom said to go slow, I think she was nervous. I went to the Marbles Museum and the Life and Science Museum in Raleigh. I went to the zoo and saw some animals. My favorite animal was the elephant. I also went to Charlottesville, VA and got to swim in KK's big pool and I went all the way to Charleston, SC and met my Spivey cousins and my new baby cousin Gus. He gives sweet kisses. When we got back my mom was sad because we lost a very special family member. She said she can't wait to tell me all about my Uncle Mike when I get older. I spent summer nights on my front porch. School started back in August and I made so many new friends. I love my new teacher. I got 4 baby chicks! I named one Pickle. I went to a pumpkin patch with my friend Emma and I went trick-or-treating with her! I was a princess. I also painted my pumpkin. My mommy said I was the next Picasso, whoever that is. My mommy painted my toenails for the first time! Sparkly is my favorite color. I started saying more and more words and I love singing songs. Old McDonald, Twinkle Twinkle, ABC, and The Wheels on the Bus are my favorite. I went to an ECU tailgate and my Aunt Jen Jen had a wedding shower! She got married and I got to be a flower girl and wear a pretty dress! Oh yeah, and wait till you hear this!! I went to DISNEY WORLD! I saw Mickey, Minnie, all of the princesses, fireworks, parades, another elephant, you name it! Mom said all I have to do if I want to go back is ask D-daddy... I'll have to remember that. I have 12 teeth now and my hair is starting to grow and I've grown two shoe sizes. I celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family and everybody played with me. I even saw Disney on Ice... twice!! My daddy ran a 5k and I was there to cheer him on. He also graduated with his Masters Degree in GIS! He said I could get my doctorate if I wanted to. I need to make it through kindergarten first. I can do a front roll now and mommy says I'm almost ready for my first pair of tap shoes! I have grown so much this year! My mommy says I'm a toddler now. I'm still an extremely picky eater but that's just me. And I love me. And my parents realllly love me. They tell me all the time! And I can say it back now! I wonder what 2014 will be like? Only time will tell! 

That Moment

We are an hour and a half into our 9 hour drive to DISNEY WORLD! So far Lilly has slept. We are riding with my nieces who are eagerly waiting for her to wake up. I figured this would be a great time to write an extremely cheesy blog about seeing Lilly for the first time. 

I have a good friend and cousin that are both pregnant right now with their first little ones. Audrey Jo is going to have her little girl any second now (although I told her she CANNOT have her while we are in Disney) and Julie's little girl is due in February.  I am so excited for them. I am so excited for them. I am SO EXCITED FOR THEM! They are about to experience "that moment". It is so hard to describe that moment in words. You hear everybody say "it was the best moment of my life" and this is very true... It will be the best moment of your life, but what makes it the best moment? It's seeing her face for the first time, hearing her cry out, that skin-to-skin contact when they lay her on your chest, and just that overall feeling of "she's finally here"! Time will stand still, tears will flow, and you will not be able to take your eyes off of her. You will kiss her more times in that first hour than you can count. You will share her with your family. Your heart will melt when your husband holds her. You will feel so much peace and joy and you will thank God over and over for this wonderful gift. The gift of motherhood. There's nothing like it! 

And you will think back at that moment a lot over those first few years and your heart will swell up all over again. Make sure a nurse takes plenty of pictures to capture those first moments you will share with your daughter. Look at them often as a reminder of how blessed you are (especially when they are teething or when they learn the word no...). So here's to my pregnant friends! You will soon be able to see your feet again, bend over, walk and not waddle, and experience the most incredible moment of your life. I'm so excited for you! 

Mommy Daycare

Somebody's 19 months old today! We are home today due to an ear infection that snuck up on us this weekend, just in time for daddy's arrival back home! He was gone all last week to a training in New York. Boy was I glad to see him! This is how our week went without our main squeeze.   

Monday- Monday was a teacher work day and Mike took Lilly to daycare before he left for the airport. After work Lilly and I hung out at the park with Miss Angela and Miss Margaret (my teacher friends). When we got home I made the biggest pot of spaghetti in the world to last me the whole week. Mike is the cook in our family so by this time I was really missing him! Then I gave us both a shower and settled down for the night in the bed with Lilly Bug. Overall, Monday was a success! 

Tuesday- I had to wake up at the crack of dawn to make sure Lilly got to daycare at 7 so I wouldn't be late for work. Lilly slept in though so that made it easier for me. I had to wake her up and get her ready in 10 minutes before we headed out the door. We were late... She screamed bloody murder when I dropped her off. I had speghatti for lunch. I picked Lilly up after work and she was not ready to leave daycare... Everytime I went to pick her up she would run away laughing. So we stayed and played outside for about 30 more minutes. When we got home I ate spaghetti for dinner and Lilly had her usual dinner of yogurt, cheese, and pickles (I kid you not) but she did at least taste some spaghetti. Then we got our shower and settled down for the night. Oh crap! The chickens!!! We got back out of bed and gave the chickens water and food. Sorry chickens. 

Wednesday- Woke up even earlier than the crack of dawn and Lilly slept in again. She still cried when I dropped her off but I wasn't late this time! I ate spaghetti for lunch. Wednesday night was McTeacher night for our school. I had signed up to be there from 5-6 so I drove into town to get Lilly and then went right to the McDonalds near my school. Since I couldn't really help in the back Lilly and I were the greeters. Lilly had a good time running around and I got to show her off to a few of my students. When we got home I ate... you guessed it...spaghetti. By this point I (and my tummy) missed my husband terribly. 

Thursday- Thursday was Halloween! Lilly got to wear her costume to daycare and I had to bring in goldfish for their class party.. And I remembered!!! She didn't cry and I wasn't late for work! I had spaghetti for lunch. I'm pretty sure my students were starting to call me spaghetti lady behind my back. "Spaghetti AGAIN Mrs. Stec??". After work I picked Lilly up and we met up with her friend Emma and Sophia at Chick-fil-a for dinner!! My taste buds were singing! Then we went out trick-or-treating. We were not sure how this would play out but it turns out that our children love getting candy from complete strangers! I was going to put the candy that she collected in my treat box at school but I clearly have no self control around candy. This was one of the best nights I have ever had. My child amazes me every single day. 

Friday- Yay we made it!!! Lilly was walking into daycare no problem by Friday. I picked her up and we went home to play. I ate a hot pocket for dinner and we watched Elmo. Mikes flight got delayed and he didn't leave NY until 8:00 pm. Lilly and I went to bed only to have her wake up a few hours later with a fever. This was the start of her ear infection. Mike got home at midnight and the rest of the weekend was spent taking care of Lilly Bug. Oh yeah... And eating the most delicious chicken wings my husband has ever made! We missed you honey!!