Lilly is still on 90% breast milk with just a few ounces of whole milk being mixed in with her bottles at daycare. We are still breast feeding at home and I'm still pumping at work (ugh!). Someday's Lilly eats pretty well at daycare and other days shes not into it. We struggle at home to get anything in that child's mouth that is not a gold fish, puff, cheerio, yogurt bite, or cheese. We have let her play with the food. We have tried to feed her with a spoon. We have let her take the spoon. We have used a "sneak attack" approach to get food in her mouth. We have played games. We have tried and tried and tried. I've even let her watch a YouTube video of another baby eating food... Monkey see monkey do, right? Sometimes we are successful. Most of the time it ends up on the floor and Jake gets a 2nd dinner. Sometimes Lilly gags just by looking at the food. The point is, we try all different types of food every day.
Well, I brought this up as a concern at Lilly's appointment. The doctor pulled up Lilly's charts for weight, height, and head circumference. She had hardly grown since her 9 month appointment (only gained 12 ounces) which puts her at 18 lbs 15 ounces. The doctor said Lilly had fallen off the charts and labeled her "Failure to Thrive".
FAILURE TO THRIVE
She then preceded to ask me a bunch of questions about my breast milk.
"Has it changed color?" No.
"Are you pumping less?" No.
"Do you eat enough calories?" Yes.
"Does Lilly seem satisfied after nursing?" Yes.
The doctor then decided that it was time for Lilly to wean. Cold turkey. Over night.
She told me to stop breastfeeding ASAP and only give Lilly Pediasure. She said that my breast milk probably didn't have that many calories in it and we needed to plump her up with this high calorie drink, especially since most of her calories are coming from milk and not table foods. She seemed very concerned. She told me to even give Lilly a bottle of the Pediasure when she wakes up at night. ONLY PEDIASURE. She was very clear about this. She also referred us to a nutritionist through ECU that will meet with us and help us find ways to get Lilly to eat more table food. She told me to come back in 2 weeks for a weight check. And her last comment was, "Well, you nursed her for a year so it's time".
There are so so so many things I wish I would have said to her. But I was totally unprepared for this news and just stood there staring at her like a sad puppy dog. My child had just been labeled "failure to thrive". I did tell her that Lilly was meeting all of her milestones and that she is even saying lots of words but she didn't seem to care.
By the time I made it to my car to call Mike I was a complete mess. He came and met me in the parking lot and reassured me that Lilly was going to be ok and that we would get through this. How was I supposed to stop nursing over night!? Does she even know my child! Lilly would completely freak out if I tried to give her a bottle of this thick, smelly chocolate Pediasure in the middle of the night. But I felt so trapped and confused and didn't know what to do. When we got home I offered Lilly some of the samples that the doctor gave me. She drank a small amount of it. I did continue to nurse her all weekend and offer the Pediasure as well. She probably only drank about an ounce of it the whole weekend. We went to the store and bought anything and everything that we thought Lilly would eat. We bought some vanilla flavored Pediasure for daycare. I reached out to some of my other friends for advice. Everybody thought that was crazy. I wanted to believe it was crazy too but a part of me felt so guilty and concerned. I felt like I had not been giving Lilly the calories that she needed in my breast milk. And after all that hard work. After reaching our goal of 1 year. It was a bad feeling.
That's when I remembered the wonderful lactation specialist at our local hospital and how they had helped me so much in the beginning. I gave them a call and the lady listened as I told her the whole story. She told me not to stop nursing that baby and to come in on Monday so they could test the calories in my breast milk. She reminded me that nursing is more than a food thing. It's for comfort and protection and it's not something you just stop overnight. She said it just sounded like Lilly needed a few more calories from table food and to keep offering food.
So, yesterday I sent 1 bottle of the Pediasure to daycare and Lilly absolutely refused to drink it.. and I don't blame her! I went up to the hospital after work and brought my bag of milk and Lilly's growth charts from her 9 and 12 month appointment. After looking over her charts, we realized that it said CDC chart for boys. BOYS!!! Why didn't I see this before! The CDC chart is a generic chart for all babies, formula fed or breast fed. She charted out Lilly's growth on the WHO chart which is for breast fed babies only. Yes, Lilly had definitely plateaued between 9 and 12 months but she was still on the chart! Then she looked over the results from my milk....
Not only does my milk have the same amount of calories as the Pediasure, my milk has MORE calories than most people. I wanted to kiss that lady on the lips. And then I wanted to shove these papers in the doctors face and say "SEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! My milk is FINE and we will continue to nurse as long as we want to!"
We are still going to meet with the nutritionist and see if they can help us get more table food in Lilly. And I have switched doctors and will see a more breastfeeding friendly doctor that the lactation lady recommended. Doctors are not perfect. They are regular people just like you and me. And sometimes they might say things you don't like. But that's when you have the choice to see somebody else that fits your needs or personality.
I couldn't hear my mommy instinct yelling at me all weekend because the doctors voice was ringing in my ear. But I hear her now and I know that Lilly Bug is going to be fine. We went out to dinner last night and tried to give Lilly some table food. She didn't want any. But we kept trying anyways. And we will keep trying every single day. And one day she will eat it. And one day she will probably even be taller than me... running around outside, taking swim lessons, or soccer, or dance, or whatever she wants to do. And we will continue to encourage her every step of the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment